We are not born sexual, but learn to be sexual beings’ (Seidman 2007: 10). Discuss this statement with reference to your own examples.

1. Media and Culture:
‘We are not born sexual,butlearn to be sexual beings’ – (Seidman2007: 10). Discussthis
statement with reference to your ownexamples.
From birth, young children are often unaware of their sexual choices in life and are given a
clean slate. They often imitate the people around them with a more developed knowledge of
the world whether it be teachers, parents or older siblings; usually of the same sex. In this
essay, the idea of how we are believed not to be born sexual will be discussed, whether it be
from surroundings or the environment we are brought up in, allowing us to understand the
ways in which sexual beings are constructed with some logical reasoning behind this.
Gender, Sexuality, Stereotypes and Identity are four common factors that are generally
discussed when referring to sexual beings. They develop over time and are often strengthened
around people that are accepting of you and potentially have similar qualities to you. The
term Gender is what we are identified as at birth or the path someone chooses to go down if
wanting to transition to an alternate gender if not comfortable in the body they were
originally given. Sexuality is the preferred way of referencing an individual, including the
correct pronouns generally insisted by that specific person. This can include; Homosexuals,
Heterosexuals, Pansexuals, Bisexuals, Queers, Asexuals, Non-Binary people, the ability to be
gender fluid along with many other forms of personal identity.
In the media and in everyday life, people are often stereotyped as being a specific gender or
sexuality without having much knowledge behind their decision or limited reasoning as to
why this is, but nobody can identify another human as that individual is the only one that can
fully distinguish their gender and sexual preferences. Along with stereotyping, pop culture
which often includes music, celebrities and advertisements can sometimes influence people to
act in a certain way. Media is seen in our everyday lives but one of the more known topics is
the discussion and viewings of reality television programs such as ‘The Only Way Is Essex’
or ‘Geordie Shore’ for example. These types of programmes are targeted at certain audiences
and are deemed to be unsuitable for children. They often promote explicit language, drug
using and the promotion of drinking alcohol, but can also give false dictations of which roles
people should and should not play in society. This can sometimes lead people into believing
that they need to perform sexual acts or be involved within a sexual community to be
accepted. The Guardian wrote an article about some of the issues regarding reality television,
stating that some people have referred to the collection of shows as ‘sneak porn’, scarring the
working-class contestants on the show and having their sexual acts/performances published
online for people to watch freely. [The Guardian, 2017]. In addition to this, a strong media
influencer who has caused a lot of controversy in the media is Kim Kardashian who has not
only been penalised due to posting explicitly sexual content, but she has also been referred to
as a bad role model and instead of positively promoting herself or doing anything that is
deemed acceptable. This falls into the category of ‘light pornography’ meaning that there
isn’t necessarily body parts exposed in the flesh, but there are some sexual connotations
within the images/videos- including sexual poses, types of clothing being worn in the images
and how much discreet genitals being shown in the image etc.

2. In an article by Ronit Herzfeld, he speaks openly about sexual desires and the normality of
anything ‘sex related’ as just being part of our presence but explains the differences in men
and women becoming sexual beings. Many articles state that it is stereotypically known for
men and women to have different sexual drives; men having more of a more physical sexual
drive as opposed to a woman’s emotional sexual drive. Teenagers and younger adults are
often pressured to sometimes not only take part in sexual acts because of influencers within
the media, but there is also added pressure from people their own age and their fellow peers
to compete with one another. Growing up as a child and through developing into young
adults, we are surrounded by information and tasks relating to this topic so it is generally seen
as part of our everyday lives without questioning or exploration. [Barbara Ellen, 2017]. In
society, there are also strong double standards when speaking about sexual acts/behaviours
and it is often spoken about with a tolerable attitude when men are involved but
stereotypically leads to bad reputations and judgements of women, spoiling their identities.
[Goffman Erving, 1963].
Religion is another factor relating to this argument with different groups of people having
alternative views about the situation. Many religions including Christianity are against the
desires of having a sexual partner or taking part in social affairs. They believe that becoming
a sexual being should be something done during people’s private lives and not something that
should be publicised to the world. Judaism, for example also have their personal views on the
situation stating that sex should only be for people with a divine lifestyle. [Universal Life
Church Monastery, 2010]. The Song of Solomon agrees with the views of both Christianity
and Judaism and gives us an honest reflection of what some of the verses are trying to
express their opinions of. ‘Sexual longing is not wrong, but sexual enjoyment before
marriage defiles God’s design. The quote signifies the normality of sex and the acceptance of
it, but states that the plan put in place by God ensures that people become loyal to one
another before taking part in sexual behaviours. The same verse continues to state that
although sexual desires are great, sexual enjoyment must be waited for and enjoyed in God’s
proper timing and design; after marriage and when a person’s loyalty has been achieved. In
an extract from The Columbus Dispatch notes, Meredith Heagney discusses conservative
views- ‘Conservative denominations teach that sex is reserved for marriage. To them, that
means one man and one woman, ideally of creating children. Presumably, this quote suggests
that women won’t take part in any sexual activity until they can become loyal to someone
through getting married showing the approval and acceptance of one person to the other.
Heagney also touches upon homosexual relationships stating that sexual parties have arisen,
with groups of lesbians or gay men bringing sex toys into play in order to please their sexual
pleasures. [Universal Life Church Monastery, 2010]. This also indicates that although most
people can partake in sexual acts on their own or with a sexual partner, there are some groups
of people and studies providing evidence for it, that groups of friends or the same sexual
preferences can sometimes host parties, referred to in various ways in order to pleasure
themselves.
In comparison to this discussion, there is an obvious link between the uses of drugs and
alcohol with the increase in sexual desires and the need to take part in sexual acts. Studies
show that when someone has taken a drug or consumed a large amount of alcohol, whether it
be a drug addict or a one off situation, the chemicals that are in the drugs change the way in
which we think. The use of class and status can sometimes be included when talking about

3. sex, as it is often perceived as sex is often perceived as a negative thing and gives a false idea
as to who people are without consuming or using these items. The outcomes that we have can
sometimes be positive, whether it be to increase body confidence, personality or the ability to
communicate better, but it can also encourage the urge to want to have sex reluctantly;
including unprotected sex, one off hook ups with anonymous partners or a feeling of regret
once it has occurred. Bradford Health Services also state that this is another way in which we
become sexual beings, through the uses of drugs and alcohol but it can also lead to very
negative outcomes, resulting in the loss of jobs, perceived character and can sometimes even
jeopardize a person’s relationship if found out. [Bradford Health Services, 2018]. We also
change as a society, meaning that there are often possible changes that happen without us
wanting them to change, but with this idea in place, we tend to fix the meaning of what
society is and the perceptions that we have of other people and the general idea around the
particular issues.
Due to the factors stated above, I agree with the statement that we are born to be sexual
beings, but more research needs to be done around the topic to have an even better
understanding of the reasons why people have sex and the implications of it. The main factors
that can adhere to the message are the factors of media and the media influencers that we
look up-to as being our role models, the normality of sexual acts and the fact that they occur
quite naturally almost everyday in our lives, whether we are partaking in it, watching others
through services such as porn or hear about it in one of the forms within the news. The uses
of drugs, alcohol, sexual toys in order to receive pleasure and the religious views and whether
or not sex is a moral thing to happen.
Bibliography:
Bradford Health. 2018.The Link Between Drug Addiction and Sexual Addiction.[ONLINE] Available
at: https://bradfordhealth.com/the-link-between-drug-addiction-and-sexual-addiction/
Cohen,Liza J. 2011. Does sexuality differ in men and women.[ONLINE] Available
at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/handy-psychology-answers/201102/does-sexuality-differ-men-and-
women
Ellen,B. 2017. Love Island is the only latest in 'sneak porn' TV. [ONLINE] Available
at: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/01/cynical-and-gutless-love-island-is-hateful-television
Erving, G. 1963. Notes on the managementofspoiled identity.[ONLINE] Available
at: https://www.freelists.org/archives/sig-dsu/11-2012/pdfKhTzvDIi8n.pdf
Heagney, M. 2010. Religious views on sexual morality.[ONLINE] Available
at: https://www.themonastery.org/blog/2010/02/religious-views-on-sexual-morality
Herzfeld, R. 2009. We are sexual beings.[ONLINE] Available at: http://ronitherzfeld.com/2009/11/04/we-are-
sexual-beings/
Kreager,Derek A/Staff, J. 2014. The sexual double standards and adolescentpeer acceptance.[ONLINE]
Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4256532
Seltzer, Leon F. Ph.D. 2012. The Triggers of Sexual Desire:Men vs. Women.[ONLINE] Available
at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201205/the-triggers-sexual-desire-men-vs-women
The Guardian.2017. Sun, sex and mugging off:is it wrong to be watching Love Island?.[ONLINE] Available
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