Presentation slides from Kindness presentation at Trinity Presbyterian Church in San Carlos, February 3, 2024

1. KINDNESS
With Bruce Reyes-Chow
Trinity Presbyterian Church
February 3, 2024

2. AGENDA
I / Introductions
Setting our Social Location and Context
II / Defining Kindness
What does kindness mean and NOT mean?
III / Kindness and Our Souls
Kindness as acts of self-care and healing?
IV / Kindness and Other Humans
Extending kindness to those around us?
V / Kindness and the Common Good
Envisioning kindness as a discipline that
changes the world?

3. SLIDES
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow
SOCIALS
@breyeschow on everything

4. INTRODUCTION
Setting my social location
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

5. ABOUT
BRUCE

6. ABOUT
BRUCE

7. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"

8. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.

9. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.

10. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor since 1995

11. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor of many types of
congregations

12. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor focused on growth,
faith sharing, and impact

13. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor of the Bridge and
Transitional kind

14. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Host of the BRC &
Friends Podcast

15. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach for
CliftonStrenghts

16. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach,
Author

17. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author: In Defense of
Kindness

18. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, coach
Author: Everything Good
about God is True…
● Giveaway!

19. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent to three adult
children: Ev, Abby, Annie

20. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent to three adult
children: Ev, Abby, Annie

21. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s

22. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s

23. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s Soccer

24. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s Bay FC Soccer

25. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s Bay FC Soccer,
Ube Lattes

26. ABOUT
BRUCE
● Generation X, “Whatever"
● Presbyterian Pastor rooted
in organizing and activism.
● Mediocre at many things:
Pastor, Podcaster, Coach
Author, Parent
● Oakland A’s Bay FC Soccer,
Ube Lattes, Plant Problem

27. and COVID
● Hospitalized, Fall 2021
● Long Covid: Muscular
Inflammation and Fatigue
● Left call in May
● Test every three months, and
OrangeTheory and Spoon
Theory are my new normals
Many suffer in silence, so if this is
you or a loved one, you are seen

28. INTRODUCTIONS
Who is in the room?
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

29. WHO IS HERE?
Name/Pronouns
Connection to TPC
When you think of KINDNESS,
what first comes to mind?

30. Romans 12:9-21
Common English Bible

31. Love should be shown without
pretending. Hate evil, and hold on to
what is good. Love each other like
the members of your family. Be the
best at showing honor to each other.

32. Don’t hesitate to be enthusiastic—be
on fire in the Spirit as you serve God!
Be happy in your hope, stand your
ground when you’re in trouble, and
devote yourselves to prayer.

33. Contribute to the needs of God’s
people, and welcome strangers into
your home. Bless people who harass
you—bless and don’t curse them. Be
happy with those who are happy, and
cry with those who are crying.

34. Consider everyone as equal, and
don’t think that you’re better than
anyone else. Instead, associate with
people who have no status. Don’t
think that you’re so smart.

35. Don’t pay back anyone for their evil
actions with evil actions, but show
respect for what everyone else
believes is good.

36. If possible, to the best of your ability,
live at peace with all people. Don’t try
to get revenge for yourselves, my
dear friends, but leave room for
God’s wrath.

37. It is written, Revenge belongs to me; I
will pay it back, says God. Instead, If
your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he
is thirsty, give him a drink. By doing
this, you will pile burning coals of fire
upon his head.

38. Don’t be defeated by evil,
but defeat evil with good.

39. Romans 12:9-21
Common English Bible
There is much evil in the world that
compels us to choose kindness.

40. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
housing,
healthcare,
student debt

41. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
poverty and
economic
divide

42. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
isolation and
mental health

43. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
school/mass
shootings

44. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
policing and
mass
incarceration

45. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
christian
nationalism

46. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
immigration

47. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
homophobia,
queerphobia,
transphobia

48. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
racism, sexism,
ageism, ableism
antisemitism
islamaphobia

49. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
the genocide
in palestine

50. CHOOSING KINDNESS
Kindness is not a journey for the meek and mild.
For those of us who have been steeped in ways of
being that are not kind, it takes tremendous
energy to purge ourselves of patterns and
behaviors that are not kind. Every day we have to
choose to commit to live out kindness that day.

51. Colossians 3:12-15
Common English Bible

52. Therefore, as God’s choice, holy and
loved, put on compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness, and patience.

53. Be tolerant with each other and, if
someone has a complaint against
anyone, forgive each other. As the the
Holy One forgave you, so also forgive
each other.

54. And over all these things put on love,
which is the perfect bond of unity.
The peace of Christ must control
your hearts — a peace into which you
were called in one body. And be
thankful people.

55. Colossians 3:12-15
Common English Bible

56. KINDNESS
A Definition.
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

57. WHEN YOU
THINK OF
KINDNESS?

58. Habit
Tactic
Event
Person
Aspiration

59. REV. DR.
MR. FRED
ROGERS

60. ESTEBAN
DE LOS
REYES

61. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
Kindness is choice to honor the
humanity (holiness) that lies
within each and every one of us.

62. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OURSELVES.

63. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OURSELVES.

64. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OTHERS.

65. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD OTHERS.

66. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
TOWARD THE WORLD.

67. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
KINDNESS NOT AS/JUST NICE.

68. BREAK-OUTS
● How was kindness defined, perceived,
or expressed in your family of origin?
● Does it my definition resonate?
● How does kindness get expressed
most in your life today?

69. BRUCE’S DEFINITION
To be kind is to accept that each person
is a created and complex human
being—and to treat them as if you
believe this to be true.

70. BREAK-OUTS
● How was kindness defined, perceived,
or expressed in your family of origin?
● Does it my definition resonate?
● How does kindness get expressed
most in your life today?

71. QUESTION &
RESPONSE

72. KINDNESS
When and What is Enough?
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

73. Enough
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

74. Enough
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

75. Enough
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

76. Enough
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

77. Enough
…sometimes the kind thing to do
for everyone is to know when
and what is enough and walk
away, at least for a time.

78. BREAK-OUTS II
● Any initial reactions?
● When have you been kind to yourself.
● In what areas of your life do you need
to be more kind to yourself?

79. QUESTION &
RESPONSE

80. BREAK

81. KINDNESS AND
OTHER HUMANS
Extending kindness to those around us?
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

82. KINDNESS
DEFINED
To be kind is to accept that each
person is a created and complex
human being—and to treat them as
if you believe this to be true.
Kindness is choice to honor the
humanity (holiness) that lies
within each and every one of us.

83. NOT OUR
BEST SELVES
Especially during times of stress
and anxiety (Pandemic, Politics,
Personal, Professional), being
humble and reflective enough to
know that none of us are are
best selves right now is an act of
kindness.

84. WE CARE
WHAT WE
CARE ABOUT
Remember that we all view the
world through different lenses.

85. EVERY DAY
KINDNESS
Notice where you are least kind
as you move through the day,
and shift the behavior.

86. MAKE IT
A HABIT
Choose to move the through the
world with a lens of kindness.

87. PRACTICE
APOLOGIZING
Remove transactional nature of
forgiveness and apologies.

88. ONLINE
Be consistent with online
interaction.

89. DISCOURSE AND
DISAGREEMENT
…dipping into the attack well of
body-shaming, racism,
misogyny, and ableism is just
lazy and we play to the
bot-fueled, troll-fed, worst of
who humans can be.

90. BREAK-OUTS III
● Any initial reactions?
● Describe a time someone was kind to you.
● What are barriers to you being kinder?
● Share one situation where you should
show more kindness?

91. QUESTION &
RESPONSE

92. KINDNESS AND THE
COMMON GOOD
Envisioning kindness as a discipline that
changes the world?
Trinity Presbyterian Church, San Carlos
February 3, 2024

93. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
There are three ways to
ultimate success:
The first way is to be kind.
The second way is to be kind.
The third way is to be kind.
—Rev. Dr. Fred Rogers

94. KINDNESS &
PROTEST
May our call to civil discourse be
more about listening to the
genuine struggles of our human
sisters, brothers, siblings,
neighbors, and strangers than
about protecting our own
spaces of security.

95. KINDNESS & CIVIL
DISOBEDIENCE
…we force those who are acting
as agents for the system to see
us as human beings and question
what they are doing rather than
see us as ideological opposition
that can be treated with
detachment and disregard.

96. THE BODY OF
CHRIST AND THE
BODY POLITIC
Suffering is not partisan or
political, so my ability to show
empathy should not be either.

97. THE BODY
If one part suffers, every
part suffers with it; if one
part is honored, every part
rejoices with it.
1 Corinthians 12:26

98. CHOOSING
TO BE KIND
Every day we make the choice
have to move through the world
with kidness.

99. CHOOSING KINDNESS
Kindness is not a journey for the meek and mild.
For those of us who have been steeped in ways of
being that are not kind, it takes tremendous
energy to purge ourselves of patterns and
behaviors that are not kind. Every day we have to
choose to commit to live out kindness that day.

100. FINAL BREAK-OUT
● Any initial reactions?
● Where is kindness most needed today?
● How could the church show kindness today?
● What is one kindness commitment that you
are willing to make-ish today?

101. LAST TIME
QUESTION &
RESPONSE

102. ALL THE LINKS
Today’s Slides:
www.slideshare.net/breyeschow
on the Socials:
@breyeschow on all the things:
Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc.
eMail:
bruce@reyes-chow.com
Blatant Shilling of My Stuff
https://linktr.ee/breyeschow