A_Biblical_Understanding_of_Marriage 2.pdf

A Biblical Understanding of Marriage
By
Stephen Giles
Revised May 2016

ii
Table of Contents
Marriage in God’s Eyes: A Mysterious One-Flesh Union.......................................................................1
The First Marriage.....................................................................................................................................1
The Two Shall Become One Flesh .............................................................................................................4
Scriptural Examples of Marriage Principles ..............................................................................................5
Betrothal .................................................................................................................................................12
The Covenant of Marriage................................................................................................................21
Israel, the Wife of God............................................................................................................................21
Biblical Definition of Covenant ...............................................................................................................22
Words Form Biblical Covenants..............................................................................................................23
Actions Form Biblical Covenants.............................................................................................................24
Sex Forms a Biblical Covenant ................................................................................................................25
Sexual Immorality............................................................................................................................30
The Fornication Fallacy ...........................................................................................................................30
Porneia: Defined by the Context.............................................................................................................32
Zanah: Defined by the Context ...............................................................................................................37
Analysis of Some Indirect References to Sexual Immorality ..................................................................38
Flaws in the Orthodox Christian View of Sex and Marriage................................................................43
Traditional Stance of Church Leadership on Premarital Sex...................................................................44
The Contradiction between Legal Marriage and Biblical Marriage ........................................................48
The Cohabitation Habit...........................................................................................................................50

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Marriage in God’s Eyes: A Mysterious One-Flesh Union
Marriage is a beautiful union between one man and one woman, and is the earthly reflection of
Ch ist’s elatio ship ith his B ide, the hu h. It is i te ded to e the losest, st o gest, a d
most intimate bond that you will ever experience with another person. For most, finding and
a i g thei soul ate is o e of thei hea t’s deepest desi es. Romantic love, in its proper
place, allows us a glimpse of God’s u o ditio al lo e fo us.
However, mankind has perverted this wonderful institution almost from the beginning. Even
the Church has been largely deceived as to the true nature of marriage, and as such, false
doctrine abounds. It is vitally important to set aside preconceived notions about marriage, pray
fo isdo a d u de sta di g, a d look losel at hat God’s Wo d eall has to sa a out the
subject.
The Bible does not specify that a marriage ceremony must take place in order for two people to
e o side ed hus a d a d ife. It is the goal of this pape to p o e that, i God’s e es,
marriage has nothing to do with legal contracts, witnesses, ceremonies, or feasts. Instead, a
man and woman become married when God joins them into one flesh through the act of sex,
which establishes the covenant between them. This is the binding union which God commands
us to honor and preserve.
The First Marriage
As God by creation made two of one, so agai arriage He ade o e of t o.
– Thomas Adams 1
God’s o igi al p es iptio fo a iage is given very early on in the Bible:
Genesis 2:23-25 (ESV) – The the a said, This at last is o e of o es a d flesh of
flesh; she shall be called Wo a , e ause she as take out of Ma . [24] Therefore a man
shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
[25] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
1
Adams, Thomas. A Puritan Golden Treasury. [ed.] I.D.E. Thomas. Carlisle : Banner of Truth, 2000. p. 178

2
God gave Eve to Adam. There was no formal ceremony, and no human witnesses or clergy were
present. God stated, through Adam, that a man shall cleave to his wife, and be one flesh with
her.
Let’s e a i e this passage o e losel . Fi st, e se states that this e ei g shall e called
o a , e ause she as take out of a . The e se sa s Therefore shall a man leave
his father and his mother, and shall cleave [join] unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
What is the the efo e the e fo ? It lea l is the e e ause of the statement in the preceding
verse, that the woman was taken out of the man. So, the original genesis of Woman was from
the body of Man, and therefore a man shall cleave to his wife and be one flesh (or body) with
her – in the physical sense, as well as spiritually and emotionally.
This i gs up a i te esti g poi t, ho e e . Whe e a tl does a o a e o e a a ’s
ife, ased o this passage God’s p otot pe fo a iage ? I e se , i tuall all t a slatio s
use the o d ife, as if the an and woman were already married. However, the exact same
oot He e o d that is t a slated o a ea lie i e se is used he e – ishshah . 1 2
The easo h so a t a slatio s e de this as ife is e ause the oot word ishshah is
in the possessive case – it has the third-person pronominal suffix. The man is to join to his
woman: that is, the woman who has been given to him (or brought to him, as God did here). In
OId Testament times, as we will see later in this chapter, a woman was considered to be
married once she was betrothed to a man – because of their future sexual union. This
effe ti el ade he his o a a d ade hi he a , hi h is a state of o e ship
that Paul affirms in 1 Cor. 7:4 when he explains the authority each spouse has o e the othe ’s
body.
A literal translation of Gen. 2:24 reads as follows:
Gen 2:24 – o -so he-is-leaving man father-of him and mother-of him and he-clings in woman-
of him and the e o e to flesh o e 3
1
BlueLetterBible.org website. [Online]
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Gen&c=2&v=23&t=ESV#conc/23.
2
http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=Gen&c=2&v=23&t=ESV#conc/24.
3
Scripture4All Online Interlinear Website. [Online]
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/OTpdf/gen2.pdf.

3
It is important to understand that the a tio of lea i g He e udbq, f o the oot
dabaq is hat auses the t o to e o e o e flesh – e o e o e flesh is ot a distinct,
unrelated action:
The words cleave unto reveal the nature of the marriage bond as God intended it to be. The idea seems
to be that a man is to glue himself to his wife. When two inanimate objects are glued together they
become a single object. When two people are glued together they likewise become one. God said, And
they shall be one flesh. While the words one flesh refer basically to the sexual union, there is much
more involved than this. When God brings a man and a woman together, He unites them in a unique and
profound biological-spiritual o d that rea hes to the er depths of their souls.
– Dr. Richard L. Strauss 1
…and shall cleave unto his wife; with a cordial affection, taking care of her, nourishing and cherishing
her, providing all things comfortable for her, continuing to live with her, and not depart from her as long
as they live: the phrase is expressive of the near union by marriage between man and wife; they are, as it
were, glued together, and make but one; which is more fully and strongly expressed in the next clause:
and they shall be one flesh; that is, "the t o", the a a d his ife…”
– John Gill 2
Now, the traditional understanding of Gen. 2:24 is that a man must first leave his father and
mother, and then partake in some kind of legal ceremony to make her his wife, and then cleave
to her to become one flesh. However, this leads to the absurd implication that marriage is a
separate, undefined action which is never mentioned, yet must occur at some point between
leaving and cleaving. It makes little sense that in this pivotal verse, which describes the very
nature of marriage, God would neglect to say anything about a wedding ceremony or a
marriage contract, if one or both of these was at all necessary. Quite to the contrary: a man
must simply leave his parents, and then he may join to the woman who was given for him to
marry. To say anything more than this would be to add to Scripture.
It is important to note that this verse is intended to apply to all people, through all time. It is
one of the first commands God gave to men: as we will see shortly in Matthew 19:4, Jesus says
that the Father Himself spoke the words of Genesis 2:24. Many commentators claim that verse
24 was a parenthetical statement added by Moses to explain how and why marriages are made,
although the context suggests that Adam spoke these words. Either way, God spoke directly to
us through Adam or Moses, spelling out His definition of marriage: a sacred one-flesh union, in
1
Strauss, Dr. Richard L. Bible.org website. [Online] http://bible.org/seriespage/they-shall-be-one.
2
Gill, John. Gill s E positio of the E tire Bi le. [Online] http://gill.biblecommenter.com/genesis/2.htm.

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which a man and woman join their lives together and put each other first above all other
earthly relationships.
The Two Shall Become One Flesh
The ministry of Jesus on Earth was characterized by radical teachings that revealed the
surprisingly muddled nature of accepted doctrine – and the topic of marriage was no exception.
When the Pharisees sought his opinion on the ongoing Hillelite-Shammaite debate regarding
acceptable causes for divorce, Christ challenged their premise that divorce was acceptable at
all:
Matthew 19:3-6 (ESV) – A d Pharisees a e up to hi a d tested hi aski g, Is it la ful to
di or e o e s ife for a ause? [ ] He a s ered, Ha e ou ot read that he ho reated
them from the beginning made them male and female, [ ] a d said Therefore a a shall
leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?
[6] So they are no longer two but one flesh. What God has joined together, let no man
separate.
Here Jesus declares in no uncertain terms that marriage should never end in divorce – whether
fo the t i ial auses ei g de ated, o e e o e justified auses – indicating that marriage
has nothing to do with a legal arrangement. The Pharisees asked him about divorce, and in
response, he quoted Genesis 2. By doing this, he defined the true nature of marriage i God’s
eyes: a one-flesh union.
Paul also quoted Genesis 2 when discussing marriage:
Ephesians 5:25-32 (ESV) – Hus a ds, lo e our i es, as Christ lo ed the hur h a d ga e
himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water
with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or
wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way
husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29]
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the
church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31] Therefore a a shall lea e his father
a d other a d hold fast to his ife, a d the t o shall e o e o e flesh. [32] This mystery is
profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

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Here Paul defines the husband-wife relationship as a one-flesh union, and compares it to the
a e i hi h e a e e e s of Ch ist’s od .
But what exactly is a one-flesh union? Paul sees it as being sexual in nature:
1 Corinthians 6:15-17 (ESV) – Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I
then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! [16] Or do
you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is
written, The two will become one flesh. [ ] But he ho is joi ed to the Lord e o es o e
spirit ith hi .
Here the act of joining with a prostitute is compared directly and forcefully to becoming one
flesh in marriage, as well as to uniting spiritually with the Lord. So we see here that sex alone
eates the full u io i God’s e es, although the esulti g o d is u h o e tha just
physical. However, soon we will look more closely at this sinful marriage with a prostitute, and
discover how it is different from a righteous marriage.
Te tullia , the fathe of Weste theolog , as a ea l Ch istia ite a d apologist ho
came to the following conclusion on the topic of marriage and monogamy:
Such is God's verdict, within straiter limits than men's, that universally, whether through marriage or
promiscuously, the admission of a second man (to intercourse) is pronounced adultery by Him. For let
us see what marriage is in the eye of God; and thus we shall learn what adultery equally is. Marriage is
this : he God joi s t o i to o e flesh; or else, fi di g the alread joi ed i the sa e flesh, has
given His seal to the conjunction. Adultery is (this): when, the two having been—in whatsoever way—
disjoined, other—nay, rather alien—flesh is mingled (with either): flesh concerning which it cannot be
affir ed, This is flesh out of flesh, a d this o e out of o es. 1
Scriptural Examples of Marriage Principles
No let’s take a look at Ro ans 7:2-4, and a parallel passage in 1 Corinthians 7:
Romans 7:2-4 (ESV) – For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but
if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. [3] Accordingly, she will be called
an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies,
1
Tertullian. On Monogamy.

6
she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. [4] Likewise,
my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong
to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God.
1 Corinthians 7:39 (ESV) – A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her
husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
It sa s i Ro a s : that a a ied o a is ou d la to he hus a d hile he li es. It
also speaks of a la of a iage. A o e lite al t a slatio of this ph ase, su h as gi e i the
KJV and the ASV, would rende it as la of he hus a d. This is o e a u ate, gi e that the
G eek ph ase he e is tou nomou tou andros, hi h ea s the la of the a . 1
Is this referring to a marriage contract? Clearly not, because marriage contracts can be broken
by certifi ates of di o e hile the hus a d still li es. “o this la of a iage o la of the
hus a d of hi h Paul speaks ust e so ethi g la ge tha a legal o t a t – it is something
God has instituted. This is confirmed by 1 Cor. 7:39, which states that a wife is bound to her
hus a d u til he dies, a d afte he dies, she a o l e a i the Lo d to a othe
believer). What human government ever set such a law in place? This law is a universal, Biblical
command from God, and as such it cannot be overridden by human authorities or cultural
traditions.
So if marriage cannot truly be broken by a legal contract, then it is reasonable to believe that it
cannot be initiated by one either. Indeed, this conclusion is supported by a number of
Scriptures that define the only requirements for forming a marriage.
Genesis 38:6-10 (ESV) – A d Judah took a ife for Er his first or , a d her a e as Ta ar.
[ ] But Er, Judah s first or , as i ked i the sight of the LO‘D, a d the LO‘D put hi to
death. [8] The Judah said to O a , Go i to our rother s ife and perform the duty of a
brother-in-law to her, a d raise up offspri g for our rother. [ ] But O a k e that the
offspring would not be his. So he e er he e t i to his rother s ife he ould aste the
semen on the ground, so as not to give offspring to his brother. [10] And what he did was
wicked in the sight of the LORD, a d he put hi to death also.
O a ’s dut as to ha e se ith his siste -in-law, so that she might have children. It was only
the act of spilling his seed every time he did this, therefore failing in his duty to her, that the
Lord saw as sinful. His brother was dead, so adultery was not an issue. And there is no mention
1
Scripture4All Online Interlinear website. [Online]
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/NTpdf/rom7.pdf.

7
of a wedding ceremony, but merely a command to go into Tamar. If Onan had fulfilled his duty,
he would not have been found to be wicked. Respected commentator Matthew Henry agrees
with this assessment:
The next son, Onan, was, according to the ancient usage, married to the widow, to preserve the name
of his deceased brother that died childless. Though God had taken away his life for his wickedness, yet
they were solicitous to preserve his memory; and their disappointment therein, through Onan's sin, was
a further punishment of his wickedness. The custom of marrying the brother's widow was afterwards
made one of the laws of Moses, Deuteronomy 25:5. Onan, though he consented to marry the widow, yet,
to the great abuse of his own body, of the wife that he had married, and of the memory of his brother
that was gone, he refused to raise up seed unto his brother, as he was in duty bound. 1
Henry sees what Onan did as marriage. However, the Hebre o d ba f o the oot bow
is t a slated as Go i to i the ph ase Go in to our rother s ife f o e se . This is the
sa e o e used i e se , hi h states that whenever he went in to his rother s ife he
would waste the semen, thus sho i g that the word o refers to intercourse.
Fu the o e, the o d uibm f o the oot yabam has the p efi u, ea i g a d. But
the e ba does ot ha e the u p efi . The efo e the fi st a tio o a ded he e is to go
i to the o a .
The se o d e uibm is t a slated as and perform the duty of a brother-in-law, so it is the
next action in sequence. This is t a slated as a i se e al e sio s of the Bi le, su h as
the Ki g Ja es a d NLT. Ho e e , it is t a slated as pe fo the dut o lie ith se e al
other times, such as in the ESV, NIV, RSV, and NASB. In either case, it does ’t take pla e efore
the act of sex.
There is no hidden wedding ceremony that is simply unmentioned here. In fact, the ancient
Jews understood this passage in the same way. The Talmud – a collection of Jewish oral
tradition interpreting the Torah – declares that a widow is to be acquired in marriage by the
very act of intercourse:
A YEBAMAH I“ ACQUI‘ED BY INTE‘COU‘“E… 2
A yebamah is a childless widow who, by the laws of levirate marriage, was to be betrothed to
the oldest brother of her late husband. 3
1
Studylight.org website. [Online] http://www.studylight.org/com/mhc-com/view.cgi?book=ge&chapter=038.
2
"CHAPTER 1." Talmud - Mas. Kiddushin 2a. [Online] http://www.halakhah.com/pdf/nashim/Kiddushin.pdf.
3
JewishEnyclopedia.com website. [Online] http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=137&letter=H.

8
Deuteronomy 25:5 (ESV) – If rothers d ell together, a d o e of the dies a d has o so , the
ife of the dead a shall ot e arried outside the fa il to a stra ger. Her hus a d s
brother shall go in to her and take her as his wife and perform the duty of a husba d s rother
to her.
This is the law of levirate marriage, which was codified in the Mosaic law sometime after the
incident with Onan and Tamar. Here again we see that the act of going in to a woman is tightly
associated with the act of marrying her.
Now, it is true that the official stance of modern Orthodox Judaism is that sex should not occur
prior to the wedding. But not all rabbis share this perspective:
…there is no such thing as pre-marital sex, as the act of intercourse is one of the ways to become
married according to traditional Judaism.
– Rabbi Daniel Plotkin 1
After all, the Torah does permit a man to take a concubine, that is, a woman in a monogamous sexual
relationship without a ketubbah (marriage contract) or the traditional kiddushin (Jewish marriage).
– Rabbi Michael Gold 2
Prostitution is only when she is promiscuous and sleeps with any man, but if she is set aside for one man
there is no prohibition. This is the concubine discussed in the Torah.
– 3
Rabbi Avraham ben David
It see s that the latte t o e uoted a o e o side o u i e to e s o ous ith
ife, ith the o l diffe e e ei g the la k of a o t a t o e e o to pu li ize o
formalize the relationship. This assessment turns out to be justified by passages such as Judges
19:1-3 and Gen. 16:1-3:
Judges 19:1-3 (ESV) – I those da s, he there as o ki g i Israel, a ertai Le ite as
sojourning in the remote parts of the hill country of Ephraim, who took to himself a concubine
from Bethlehem in Judah. [2] And his concubine was unfaithful to him, and she went away from
1
JewishValuesOnline.org website. [Online]
http://www.jewishvaluesonline.org/question.php?id=94&cprg=%2Fsearch.php%3Fsearchtxt%3Dmarriage%26wha
t%3DA.
2
MyJewishLearning website. [Online].
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Sex_and_Sexuality/Premarital_Sex/Traditional_Sources.shtml.
3
MyJewishLearning website. [Online].
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Sex_and_Sexuality/Premarital_Sex/Traditional_Sources.shtml.

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hi to her father s house at Bethlehe i Judah, a d as there so e four o ths. [ ] The her
husband arose a d e t after her, to speak ki dl to her a d ri g her a k…
The word translated o u i e he e is the o d philgshu oot piylegesh . It often is
paired with ishshah, whose root form means woman but is t a slated as ife he given
the pronominal suffix, which indicates possession. 1
A concubine was required to remain faithful
to her husband, and was considered to be his wife in relationship if not in status.
Genesis 16:1-3 (ESV) – No “arai, A ra 's ife, had or e hi o hildre . “he had a fe ale
Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. [2] And Sarai said to A ra , Behold o , the LO‘D
has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain
hildre her. A d A ra listened to the voice of Sarai. [3] So, after Abram had lived ten years
in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant, and gave her
to Abram her husband as a wife.
The He e o d t a slated as Go i to he e is again ba, f o the oot bow. Sarai, as
Haga ’s aste , ga e Haga to A a to take as his ife, hi h he did goi g i to he .
Does this mean that Abram had more than one wife? Yes. Was this a sinful situation? Yes.
Pol ga as e e God’s pla fo a ki d. But as this sto de o st ates, the fa t e ai s
that sex establishes a one-flesh union, although in this case an unrighteous one (which is not
i di g i God’s e es . The sinfulness of this marriage is proven by the fact that the Lord cursed
the offspring of Abram and Hagar – Ishmael – sa i g that he ould e a ild do ke of a
man, and that there would be conflict between him and others (Gen. 16:10-11).
Deuteronomy 21:10-14 (ESV) – When you go out to war against your enemies, and the LORD
your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, [11] and you see among the
captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, [12] and you bring her
home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. [13] And she shall take off the
clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and
her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be
your wife. [14] But if you no longer delight in her, you shall let her go where she wants. But you
shall not sell her for money, nor shall you treat her as a slave, since you have humiliated her.
In this case, it was acceptable for a man to take a woman into his home despite not being
married to her. She was to perform certain rituals which would symbolize her grief over the
separation from her parents, and over her new condition. Another purpose of this waiting
1
This type of contrast between wives and concubines occurs several times in the OT: 2 Sam. 5:13; 2 Sam. 19:5; 1
Kings 11:3; 2 Chronicles 11:21.

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period was to reduce her physical attractiveness to her captor, so that he would be less likely to
marry her on the basis of beauty alone. 1
Afte a o th of this a a ge e t, he ould go i to he , and be her husband (note the
si ila it of that ph ase a d go in to her and take her as his wife f o Deut. : , hi h as
examined earlier in this section). The ph ase t a slated as go i to he he e is thbua alie
ou shall o e to he 2
, whe e thbua is f o the oot o d bow. The e ai i g t o
He e o ds, hi h a e t a slated as e he hus a d a d she shall e ou ife, a e the
e ba`al a d the ou ishshah, espe ti el . Ba al ea s to a o possess 3
, and as
e’ e see al ead , ishshah ea s o a .
Based o this i fo atio , it ould see that a lite al t a slatio of the te t ields Afte a d,
go into a d a the o a . O e agai , bow almost certainly refers to sexual relations.
Two translations of this verse support that interpretation:
GOD’“ WORD T a slatio : After that, ou a sleep ith her. The ou ill e o e hus a d
a d ife. 4
Douay-Rheims Bible: …a d after that thou shalt go i u to her, a d shalt sleep ith her, and
she shall be thy wife. 5
There are many more examples of this principle:
Genesis 20:1-6 (ESV) – Fro there A raha jour e ed to ard the territor of the Nege a d
lived between Kadesh and Shur; and he sojourned in Gerar. [2] And Abraham said of Sarah his
ife, “he is sister. A d A i ele h ki g of Gerar sent and took Sarah. [3] But God came to
A i ele h i a drea ight a d said to hi , Behold, ou are a dead a e ause of the
o a ho ou ha e take , for she is a a s ife. [ ] Now Abimelech had not approached
her. “o he said, Lord ill ou kill a i o e t people? [ ] Did he ot hi self sa to e, “he is
sister? A d she herself said, He is rother. I the i tegrit of heart a d the
1
Jamieson, Robert. BlueLetterBible.org website. [Online]
http://www.blueletterbible.org/commentaries/comm_view.cfm?AuthorID=7&contentID=2055&commInfo=6&topi
c=Deuteronomy&ar=Deu_21_13.
2
Scripture4All Online Interlinear website. [Online]
http://www.scripture4all.org/OnlineInterlinear/OTpdf/deu21.pdf.
3
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H1166&t=ESV.
4
Bible.cc website. [Online] http://bible.cc/deuteronomy/21-13.htm.
5
Bible.cc website. [Online] http://bible.cc/deuteronomy/21-13.htm.

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i o e e of ha ds I ha e do e this. [ ] The God said to him i a drea , Yes, I know that
you have done this in the integrity of your heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning
against me. Therefore I did not let you touch her.
Abraham tried to pass his wife off as his sister, to protect himself (displaying a remarkable lack
of faith in his God). He did something similar in Egypt, when Pharaoh desired to take Sarah as
his wife (Gen. 12:14-20). In each case, God quickly exposed the ruse.
No , ased o God’s o ds, it ould ot ha e ee si ful fo A i ele h to tou h ha e se
ith “a ah if she had t ul ee u a ied. God said that A i ele h’s a tio s e e do e i
the integrity of his heart. He certainly would have had the intention of touching Sarah soon, but
since God said that his heart was innocent, this means that his intentions were innocent. Thus,
ased o this e a ple, it ould e a epta le i God’s sight fo a u a ied o a to ha e
sex with a man, if he had taken her with the intention of having her as his wife.
Also consider this: since Abimelech was explicitly declared to have not sinned against God, it
follo s that taki g “a ah i to his ho e as ot si ful. “o ot e e that s all e e o ial
action was considered to be the actual marriage. Otherwise, it would mean that Abimelech had
married a othe a ’s ife, hi h God su el ould ot o do e hethe o ot it as
intentional). But God is focused on the sexual union alone.
Genesis 30:3-4 (ESV) – The she said, Here is ser a t Bilhah; go in to her, so that she may
give birth on my behalf, that e e I a ha e hildre through her. [ ] “o she gave him her
servant Bilhah as a wife, and Jacob went in to her.
Gen. 24:67 (ESV) – The Isaa brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took
Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother's
death.
The e as a p i ate ti e et ee Isaa a d Ra hel i his othe ’s te t, hi h as lea l a
special place for him. The he took he , a d o l afte that did she e o e his ife. The
strong implication here is that they had physical relations, resulting in marriage.
Genesis 29:20-28 (ESV) – “o Ja o ser ed se e ears for ‘a hel, a d the see ed to hi ut a
fe da s e ause of the lo e he had for her. [ ] The Ja o said to La a , Give me my wife
that I may go in to her, for my time is completed. [22] So Laban gathered together all the
people of the place and made a feast. [23] But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and
brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her. [24] (Laban gave his female servant Zilpah to his

12
daughter Leah to be her servant.) [25] And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said
to La a , What is this ou ha e do e to e? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then
ha e ou de ei ed e? [ ] La a said, It is not so done in our country to give the younger
before the firstborn. [27] Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in
return for serving me another seven years. [28] Jacob did so, and completed her week. Then
Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife.
There was a feast, and a gathering of all the people of the place. Jacob even told Laban to give
him his woman, indicating their betrothed state. But Laban tricked Jacob and brought Leah to
his bed first. The wedding celebration did nothing to make Ja o ’s relationship with Rachel
transition from betrothal to full marriage…he unknowingly had sexual relations with Leah, but
this still bound her to him as his wife! The entire ceremony was all about Jacob and Rachel, but
be ause he e t i to Leah, Leah became his wife, and Rachel remained betrothed.
Betrothal
How were passages such as these interpreted by their intended audience, the Jews? What role
does et othal pla i a iage? To a s e these uestio s, let’s take a look at some key texts
in the Talmud:
MISHNAH. A WOMAN IS ACQUIRED [IN MARRIAGE] IN THREE WAYS AND
ACQUIRES HER FREEDOM IN TWO. SHE IS ACQUIRED BY MONEY, BY DEED, OR BY INTERCOURSE…
Now, that answers for intercourse; but what can you say of MONEY AND DEED? —
[They are] on account of INTERCOURSE. And are two taught on account of one? — These too
are adjuncts of intercourse. 1
The Jewish Virtual Library expands upon this Talmudic law:
Mishnah Kiddushin 1:1 specifies that a woman is acquired (i.e., to be a wife) in three ways: through
money, a contract, and sexual intercourse. Ordinarily, all three of these conditions are satisfied,
although only one is necessary to effect a binding marriage.
The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages: kiddushin (commonly translated as betrothal) and
nisuin (full-fledged marriage). Kiddushin occurs when the woman accepts the money, contract or sexual
relations offered by the prospective husband. The word "kiddushin" comes from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin,
meaning "sanctified." It reflects the sanctity of the marital relation. However, the root word also
1
"CHAPTER 1." Talmud - Mas. Kiddushin 2a. [Online] http://www.halakhah.com/pdf/nashim/Kiddushin.pdf.

13
connotes something that is set aside for a specific (sacred) purpose, and the ritual of kiddushin sets aside
the woman to be the wife of a particular man and o other…
Kiddushin is far more binding than an engagement as we understand the term in modern America; in
fact, Maimonides speaks of a period of engagement before the kiddushin. Once kiddushin is complete,
the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by
death or divorce. However, the spouses do not live together at that time, and the mutual obligations
created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the nisuin is complete.
The nisuin fro a ord ea i g ele atio o pletes the pro ess of arriage. The hus a d ri gs
the wife into his home and they begin their married life together.
In the past, the kiddushin and nisuin would routinely occur as much as a year apart. During that time,
the husband would prepare a home for the new family. There was always a risk that during this long
period of separation, the woman would discover that she wanted to marry another man, or the man
would disappear, leaving the woman in the awkward state of being married but without a husband.
Today, the two ceremonies are normally performed together. 1
Marriage is defined here as a process which is started by betrothal, and concludes with
isui . O e a Je ish ouple as et othed, the e e o side ed married, because they had
begun the process of marriage. This could begin with money (the bride-price), a written
contract, or sex. The father actually received the bride-price, but the woman had to accept it as
ell. He e the fathe ’s app o al as take as a given – something that was already in place.
But h is i te ou se gi e he e as o e of the a s to e o e et othed, he e’ e see
how the Bible tells us that it creates a full marriage? The authors of the Talmud – or the rabbis
and sages who subsequently interpreted that text – were not writing Holy Spirit-inspired words,
and thus were susceptible to human error. They mistakenly included sex in the list of the ways
to become betrothed, thus drawing an artificial distinction between sex and nisuin. Intercourse
was actually the focal point of the nisuin stage (remember the story of Jacob and Rachel), and
after this occurred, there would be much celebration:
A reception took place. There would be a procession where they would be carried on a chair. The whole
community took part. Immediately, the bride and groom would return to the home he prepared. The
father had a party going on and he gave them his blessings. They would consummate the marriage and
the sheet would be held up to seal the covenant with blood. 2
1
The American-Israeli Cooperative Enterprise. JewishVirtualLibrary.org website. [Online]
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Judaism/marriage.html.
2
Livshits, Rabbi Gennady. Houseofdavidministry.org website. [Online]
http://houseofdavidministry.org/teachings/teachings/1-an-ancient-jewish-wedding.html.

14
In Scripture, most examples of betrothal to a free Jewish maiden required that the groom pay a
bride-price to her father, because she was still considered to be under her father’s autho it .
The price seems to have defaulted to 50 shekels of silver (Deut. 22:29), but the father would
often ask for other forms of payment:
1 Samuel 18:25 (ESV) – The “aul said, Thus shall you say to David , The king desires no
bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king's
enemies. ' No “aul thought to ake Da id fall the ha d of the Philisti es.
1 Samuel 18:27 (ESV) – David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of
the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king,
that he might become the king's son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a
wife.
The giving of a bride-p i e o e gage e t p ese t is not explicitly regulated in the Bible,
except in two special situations described in the Mosaic Law. These references, as it so
happens, are also the only times that the case of a man having sex with an un-betrothed, virgin
woman is mentioned in the Law.
Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (ESV) – If a a eets a irgi ho is ot etrothed, and seizes her
and lies with her, and they are found, [29] then the man who lay with her shall give to the father
of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated
her. He may not divorce her all his days.
The most common interpretation of this passage says that it concerns the rape of a virgin
woman. However, the o d t a slated as iolated is anah, ea i g hu le, hu iliate. 1
This verb does not necessarily have the connotation of rape or violation:
Genesis 16:9 (ESV) – The a gel of the LO‘D said to her, ‘etur to our istress a d submit
[anah] to her.
Daniel 10:12 (ESV) – The he said to e, Fear ot, Da iel, for fro the first da that ou set
your heart to understand and humbled [anah] yourself before your God, your words have been
heard, a d I ha e o e e ause of our ords.
1

15
Consider the woman captured as a spoil of war in Deuteronomy 21:10-14, which was examined
earlier in this chapter. The same word – anah – was also used in Deuteronomy 21:14. Recall
that the man who did this was not allowed to treat her as a slave, because he had humbled
[anah] her. We also know that he took her into his home, let her grieve for a month, and then if
he still delighted in her, he as pe itted to go i to he a d ake he his ife. But if he did
not delight in her, he was required to send her wherever she wished, rather than marrying her
or selling her as a slave to someone else. 1 2
She was humbled in the sense that she was
captured and put under the a ’s autho it hile i his ho e, but she was not raped or
violated sexually.
In Deuteronomy 22:28-29, the man is required to keep the virgin as his wife, without any
possibility of divorce. It is difficult to believe that God would demand that the victim of a rapist
remain as his wife, which leads to the thought that this law is not what it seems. The only
e ai i g easo to t a slate anah as iolated o aped is due to the o d seized
taphas i the He e i e se . But “t o g’s Le i o lists at h as the fi st ea i g fo
the o d taphas, a d it is t a slated as take o take o e tha half the ti e i the Ki g
James version. 3
This could indicate the man took a strong initiative here, but it does not have
to ea take by force. Fo e a ple, taphas has the se se of g asp o ha dle i Ge esis
4:21, 39:12; Proverbs 30:28; Jeremiah 46:9, 50:16; Ezekiel 21:11, 27:29, 30:21; 38:4; and Amos
2:15.
A ea e se also i ludes the o d seize :
Deuteronomy 22:25 (ESV) – But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is
betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall
die.
He e the He e o d chazaq is t a slated seized, a d i fa t ea s to fo e, hold fast,
displa st e gth. 4
Al ost all t a slatio s e de the o d as fo ed. Based o this, as ell as
the fact that only the man is punished for this sinful act, we can see that this is a case of rape.
In verses 28 and 29, however, the punishment is not death, but merely a requirement of
marriage, and the bride-p i e that goes alo g ith it. Also, the e t a slated as seize is ot
1
StudyLight.org website. [Online] http://www.studylight.org/commentaries/guz/view.cgi?book=de&chapter=021
2
BibleHub.com website. [Online] http://biblehub.com/commentaries/jfb/deuteronomy/21.htm
3
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?strongs=H8610&t=ESV&page=3.
4

16
the sa e e as the o e i e se , hi h is a lea ase of ape. Fi all , the ph ase a d the
a e fou d i e se st o gl suggests that the act was consensual (a similar phrase is also
used in verse 22, which orders the death penalty for a man and woman who have willfully
committed adultery). Renowned Bible commentator John Gill also agrees with this assessment
of the situation described in these verses.1
“o the a ’s i es here are insubordination (taking
the woman before her father gave him permission to do so) and theft (taking the woman as his
wife before he had paid her father the customary amount of silver).
He was then compelled to keep the woman as his wife, and never divorce her. This was actually
done for her protection: the woman was no longer a virgin, and would be considered to be
a othe a ’s o a f. Deut. : -21), thus making it difficult for her to find a new
husband. So the man was required to take her in as his wife, and provide for her for all of his
days. Compare this to the passage, earlier in the chapter, that describes the legal obligations of
the man who falsely accused his bride of not being a virgin:
Deuteronomy 22:18-19 (ESV) – The the elders of that it shall take the a a d hip hi ,
[19] and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the
young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his
wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
This scenario describes a man and woman who have just had their wedding night intimacy, yet
the same words and same Hebrew phrases are used just a few verses later (in Deut. 22:28-29)
to regulate the case of a man sleeping with a virgin. So in each passage, she shall e his ife
does not imply a later marriage ceremony, but rather says that she shall remain his wife. It
follows, then, that in Deut. 22:28-29, the man who has lain with an un-betrothed virgin has
already made her his wife. This is because he humbled her, or placed her under his authority,
though in this case it was through the act of sex (whereas the slave woman in Deut. 21:10-14
was humbled through the act of being captured as a spoil of war).
Exodus 22:16-17 is the parallel passage to Deut. 22:28-29, and also concerns a man sleeping
with an un-betrothed virgin:
Exodus 22:16-17 (ESV) – If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he
shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. [17] If her father utterly refuses to give
her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
1
BibleStudyTools.com website. [Online]
http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/deuteronomy-22-28.html

17
Be ause he sedu ed the i gi outside of he fathe ’s o se t, thus e o i g a ied to he ,
he was required to pay the bride-price to her father. Otherwise the father would be cheated of
the bride-price owed him by any man taking his daughter as a wife. So the wronged party in this
case is the father, not the daughter. This point is further supported by the fact that all of the
verses in this chapter prior to 16 and 17 discuss case laws related to theft or damage to o e’s
possessions, indicating that verses 16 and 17 are also about theft.
The father also needed to give his consent, or else the man could not take her into his home
a d li e ith he as hus a d a d ife. Ve se , hi h sa s he shall give the bride-price for
her and make her his wife, is usuall t a slated as he shall give the bride-price for her to be his
wife. Translations that phrase it this way, or in an equivalent way, include: ASV, KJV, NET,
NKJV, NA“B, You g’s Lite al, Da , WEB, BBE, a d HNV. Thus pa i g the ide-price does not
ake he his ife, ut i stead satisfies the de t he o es to he fathe fo taki g he as a
wife.
The man was still required to pay the bride-p i e e e if the o a ’s fathe efused to gi e he
away, to compensate for her unmarriageable state. Would the fathe ’s efusal ullif the o e-
flesh union that had been formed? No – a marriage covenant is only terminated by death. So
this situation would be a difficult one, in which the husband and wife cannot live together, but
also cannot marry anyone else without committing adultery.
After this examination of Deut. 22:28-29 and Ex. 22:16-17, striking similarities emerge between
the two passages. In both cases, a man seduces/initiates consensual sex with a virgin who is not
betrothed, and if they are discovered, a bride-price must be paid to the father. Then we find
some differences: in Deuteronomy, no provision is made for the father to prevent his daughter
f o li i g ith he hus a d. I E odus, the a ’s a ilit to di o e his ife is ot e o ed.
But given that Deuteronomy restates much of the law given in Exodus 1
, and the strong
similarity of these two cases, it is likely that Deut. 22:28-29 is referring to the same scenario as
Ex. 22:16-17. Therefore these texts may be combined and taken as one unified law, which
includes both the fathe ’s ight of efusal a d the a ’s i a ilit to di o e his ife in this
situation. The combined law could thus be stated as follows:
"If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and takes her and sleeps with her, and they are
found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels
of silver as a bride-price. If her father gives her to him, she shall remain his wife, because she
1
Insight.org website. [Online] http://www.insight.org/ministry/bible/deuteronomy.html.

18
has submitted to him in marriage. He may not divorce her all of his days. If her father utterly
refuses to give her to him, he shall still pay money equal to the bride-pri e for irgi s.
Based on this law about virgins, we can see that when an un-betrothed couple sleeps together,
they are not automatically betrothed, but in fact become husband and wife (skipping right over
the first stage of marriage). It is important to note that the payment and requirements
associated with this act are part of the law of the Old Covenant, and therefore should not be
considered to be binding upon us now (Rom. 7:1-6).
But betrothal is still a topic worthy of further consideration, given that it is a shadow of the
connection we as Christians share with Jesus before he returns. Christ paid the purchase price
for us to be his bride when he gave up his life on the cross (kiddushin , a d soo he’ll etu
with a trumpet blast to take us as his wife (nisuin).
Romans 6:3-5 (ESV) – Do ou ot k o that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus
were baptized into his death? [4] We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in
order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk
in newness of life. [5] For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly
be united with him in a resurrection like his.
John 14:2 (ESV) – I Father s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you
that I go to prepare a place for you? [3] And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come
again and will take you to myself, that here I a ou a e also.
The elevation has not yet taken place – he has not yet brought us into the place he has
p epa ed fo us, his Fathe ’s house. We ha e ee u ited ith hi th ough death hi h f eed
us to become betrothed to him), but have not yet been united with him in resurrection.
1 Corinthians 6:15-17 (ESV) – Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I
then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! [16] Or do
you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is
written, The two will become one flesh. [ ] But he ho is joi ed to the Lord e o es o e
spirit ith hi .
He e Paul states that th ough se ual u io , a a e o es a e e of a p ostitute. But he
also says that our bodies (as Christians) are members of Christ. Then in his next letter to the
Corinthians, he declares the church to currently be in a state of betrothal to Christ:

19
2 Corinthians 11:2 (ESV) – For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one
husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.
Here Paul says that believers are betrothed to Christ. But in 1 Cor. 6:15-17, he also compares
the way we are currently joined with Christ to a one-flesh union, which, as we have seen, forms
a marriage. This is because the Bride will be with Christ at the resurrection of the dead, a
physical union that mirrors nisuin. He has paid the price for us to be his wife, setting us apart
for him alone, when he returns. So Paul sees spiritual betrothal as being equivalent to spiritual
marriage, because the process of marriage has begun, and (if we continue in the faith) will
result in a future physical union.
Thus a person who is betrothed to Christ, but who subsequently lies with a prostitute
(establishing a one-flesh union with a sinner now), is committing spiritual adultery. Unless there
is repentance, such an act may ultimately lead to the unthinkable: Christ telling them I never
knew you at the resurrection and judgment.
Given that the Bible draws numerous parallels between earthly and spiritual marriage, points
that are made about one can reasonably be applied to the other. One such commonality is
described in Deut. 22:23-24, which says that when a man sleeps with a virgin betrothed to
someone else, he has taken (Hebrew anah, or hu led a othe a ’s ife, a d ust e put
to death. The woman had been set aside to be he a ’s ife, e e though the a iage
process was not complete.
Stage Initiating Act Nature of Relationship May Be
Terminated?
Scriptural
Examples
Betrothal
(kiddushin)
Purchase
(payment of
bride-price)
Man has exclusive rights to
the woman who is now set
aside to be his wife. This is
a contract/promise to have
a covenant relationship.
* By divorce for
infidelity.
* By death.
* 1 Sam. 18:17-25
* Deut. 22:23-24
* Matt. 1:19
Marriage
(nisuin)
Sexual union Man has exclusive rights to
the woman, who is now his
wife. This is a covenant
relationship: the marriage is
now fully realized.
* By death alone. * Gen. 16:1-3
* Gen. 24:67
* Deut. 21:10-14
* Rom. 7:1-4
* 1 Cor. 7:39

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Modern-day engagement does bear some similarity to betrothal customs. The suitor typically
spe ds a la ge su of o e o a i g fo his lad , a d ofte is e pe ted to ask he fathe ’s
permission to marry her before proposing. However, the father does not set the price of the
ring in this scenario, nor does he receive the ring. Not even his verbal approval or rejection is
considered to be a deciding factor, although some men would respect it.
Beyond this, the fact remains that betrothal was a custom in the ancient Near Eastern world,
and God regulated some aspects because His people practiced it. We are not part of that
culture, and there is no evidence to suggest that the Lord ordains betrothal as the beginning of
the process for human marriage in general. Western engagements bear a passing similarity to
this custom, but are not equivalent to betrothal.
Sex is the true beginning of marriage, and implicitly commits two people to join their separate
lives as one. This definition of marriage is universal, without question. Even in the modern
American legal system, a marriage may be annulled (that is, legally declared to have never
existed) if sexual relations never occurred. 1
One cannot argue that the doctrine of a one-flesh
union is only applicable to ancient Jews under the old covenant (as with the betrothal laws).
Jesus quoted Genesis 2:24 when he explained the nature of human marriage. Paul did as well.
This principle is a fixture throughout the Bible. The way that we are united with Christ is
u ha gi g, a d so is God’s defi itio of a iage.
1
Nolo.com website. [Online] http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/annulment-vs-divorce-30234.html.

21
The Covenant of Marriage
Marriage is not only a one-flesh union, but also a sacred, deeply meaningful covenant between
a man and a woman. In this chapter, we will seek an understanding of this covenantal
dimension to marriage, beginning with an examination of the way God views his relationship
with Israel.
Israel, the Wife of God
Ezekiel 16:2-8 (ESV) – “o of a , ake k o to Jerusale her abominations, [3] and say,
Thus sa s the Lord GOD to Jerusalem: Your origin and your birth are of the land of the
Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. [4] And as for your birth, on
the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you,
nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. [5] No eye pitied you, to do any of these
things to you out of compassion for you, but you were cast out on the open field, for you were
abhorred, on the day that you were born. [6] And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing
i our lood, I said to ou i our lood, Li e! I said to ou i our lood, Li e! [ ] I made you
flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment.
Your breasts were formed, and your hair had grown; yet you were naked and bare. [8] Whe I
passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner
of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into
a covenant with you, de lares the Lord GOD, and you became mine.
The He e ph ase t a slated as at the age of lo e is `eth dowd. `eth ea s ti e,
espe iall p ope ti e 1
, and dowd ea s lo e, especially romantic love. 2
Dowd is also
the word used in the phrase o e let us take ou fill of love till o i g i P o e s : . It is
also the word used to represent lovemaking many times in the Song of Solomon, such as Sgs
1:2, 4:10, and 7:12.
Although this is a parable, and not a literal description of what took place, it is important to
understand why the Lord chose to use such an example to illustrate His covenant with Israel.
Once Israel was mature and ready for the covenant with God, He made His vow to them. The
1
Gesenius's Lexicon. BlueLetterBible.org website. [Online]
2
Gesenius's Lexicon. BlueLetterBible.org website. [Online]

22
imagery is that of romantic love, and sexual love in particular, given that He noted that her
easts e e fo ed a d he hai had g o . The ph ase I sp ead the o e of
ga e t o e ou a d o e ed ou aked ess is s olic of marriage – it effectively means
that He took her under His protection (cf. Ruth 3:9). By marrying her, he covered the nakedness
of her sin with His garment of righteousness. 1
Later in the same chapter, Israel is described as
being a wife who committed adultery. So this passage describes the marriage covenant
between the Lord and Israel, at a time when Israel was ready for conjugal love.
This covenant was established by a vow made by the Lord. But how does one make a vow?
What is the Biblical meaning of a covenant?
Biblical Definition of Covenant
To begin our study of covenants, we must first investigate the historical and Biblical usage of
the term.
A contract, in distinction from a covenant, only lasts so long as both parties are enjoying the benefits of
the relationship. It is binding upon the condition of being profitable for both parties. A covenant, on the
other hand, is a commitment of love. Since it creates a relationship fundamentally different from the
mutual profit-seeking relationship of a contract, it must be established in a different manner. In the
Bible, a covenant can only be established and sealed by an oath, which usually involves an oath-taking
ceremony like circumcision (that is, in ancient Israel, the act of circumcising a child constituted a
covenant oath). 2
The Greek word diatheke is a translation of the Hebrew word beriyth (H1285), which is translated by the
King James Version as covenant, league, confederate, and confederacy. One is able to verify the Greek
usage of diatheke (G1242) for the Hebrew word beriyth (H1285) by looking at the Septuagint (LXX)
Greek. This simply means that LXX translators believed that the Greek word diatheke best represented
the Hebrew word beriyth. Part of the definition of the Hebrew word beriyth is that God cuts “tro g s a
covenant with a human or with a group of humans; and therefore God uts His o e a ts in blood.
– 3
Raymond Harris
1
Keil and Delitzsch Biblical Commentary on the Old Testament. [Online] http://bible.cc/ezekiel/16-8.htm.
2
Smith, Rev. Ralph A. The Covenantal Structure of the Bible: An Introduction to the Bible. [Online]
http://www.ovrlnd.com/Covenant/chp2.html.
3
Harris, Raymond. Covenant Theology. [Online] http://www.raymondharris.com/?page_id=1105.

23
The Hebrew word for covenant is always berith, a word of uncertain derivation. The most general
opinion is that it is derived from the Hebrew verb barah, to cut, and therefore contains a reminder of the
ceremony mentioned in Gen. 15:17. 1
The referenced passage in Genesis 15 describes the act by which the Lord made a covenant
with Abram:
Genesis 15:7-10, 17-18 (ESV) – A d He said to hi , I a the LO‘D ho rought ou out fro
Ur of the Chaldea s to gi e ou this la d to possess. [ ] But he said, O Lord GOD, ho a I to
k o that I shall possess it? [ ] He said to hi , Bri g e a heifer three ears old, a female goat
three ears old, a ra three ears old, a turtledo e, a d a ou g pigeo . [ ] A d he rought
Him all these, cut them in half, and laid each half over against the other. But he did not cut the
irds i half… [ ] When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and
a flaming torch passed between these pieces. [18] On that day the LORD made a covenant
with Abram, sa i g To our offspri g I gi e this la d…
A a piled up pie es of flesh, the Lo d’s o a d. The the Lo d ut a o e a t ith
Abram by passing between the pieces of flesh.
Now, during intercourse, a man passes between the two folds of the vagina (the labia majora).
A virgin woman most likely will also shed some blood during her first time. The striking
symbolism of this act points to the covenantal nature of sex. In his role as the leader, the man
cuts a covenant with his woman by passing between two pieces of flesh, just as God did with
Israel. Sex is the ceremonial act that constitutes a covenant oath in marriage.
Words Form Biblical Covenants
Words alone may also be used to establish a covenant, in the form of oaths:
Genesis 31:43-52 (ESV) – The La a a s ered a d said to Ja o , The daughters are
daughters, the children are my children, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine.
But what can I do this day for these my daughters or for their children whom they have borne?
[44] Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I. And let it be a witness between you and
me. [ ] So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. [46] And Jacob said to his kinsmen,
Gather sto es. A d the took sto es a d ade a heap, and they ate there by the heap. [47]
1
Bible-researcher.com website. [Online] http://www.bible-researcher.com/covenant.html.

24
Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. [48] Laban said, This heap is a
it ess et ee ou a d e toda . Therefore he named it Galeed, [49] and Mizpah, for he
said, The LO‘D at h et ee ou a d e, he e are out of one another's sight. [50] If you
oppress my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no one is with us,
see, God is witness between you and me. [ ] The La a said to Ja o , “ee this heap a d the
pillar, which I have set between you and me. [52] This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a
witness, that I will not pass over this heap to you, and you will not pass over this heap and this
pillar to me, to do harm.
The heap a d the pilla e e s oli it esses i the se se that the e e ph si al
evidence of the interaction between Laban and Jacob. But all that was necessary to establish
this covenant was that two people make oaths to each other, letting God be the witness.
Hebrews 6:13-18 (ESV) – For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one
greater ho to s ear, he s ore hi self, [ ] sa i g, “urely I will bless you and multiply
ou. [ ] A d thus A raha , ha i g patie tl aited, o tai ed the pro ise. [ ] For people
swear by something greater than themselves, and in all their disputes an oath is final for
confirmation. [17] So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise
the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, [18] so that by two
unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might
have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.
An oath guarantees a promise, establishes a covenant, and is unchangeable (you cannot back
out of it).
Actions Form Biblical Covenants
Exodus 34:11-16 (ESV) – O ser e hat I o a d ou this da . Behold, I will drive out before
you the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. [12]
Take care, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land to which you go, lest it
become a snare in your midst. [13] You shall tear down their altars and break their pillars and
cut down their Asherim [14] (for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is
Jealous, is a jealous God), [15] lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and
when they whore after their gods and sacrifice to their gods and you are invited, you eat of his
sacrifice, [16] and you take of their daughters for your sons, and their daughters whore after
their gods a d ake our so s hore after their gods.

25
According to this Biblical example, actions alone can establish a covenant. The worship of other
gods (idolatry) is the act by which a covenant is made here, a fact that is confirmed by the
following passage:
Exodus 23:32-33 (ESV) – You shall make no covenant with them and their gods. [33] They shall
not dwell in your land, lest they make you sin against me; for if you serve their gods, it will
surely be a snare to you.
Sex Forms a Biblical Covenant
Idolatry – serving other gods – is equivalent to making a covenant with these gods. But idolatry
is also compared to something else:
Ezekiel 16:35-36 (ESV) – Therefore, O prostitute, hear the word of the LORD: [36] Thus says the
Lord GOD, Because your lust was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your whorings
with your lovers, and with all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children
that you gave to them …
Hosea 9:1 (ESV) – Rejoice not, O Israel! Exult not like the peoples; for you have played the
whore, forsaking your God. You have loved a prostitute's wages on all threshing floors.
Hosea 4:13-14 (ESV) – They sacrifice on the tops of the mountains and burn offerings on the
hills, under oak, poplar, and terebinth, because their shade is good. Therefore your daughters
play the whore, and your brides commit adultery. [14] I will not punish your daughters when
they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery; for the men themselves go
aside with prostitutes and sacrifice with cult prostitutes, and a people without understanding
shall come to ruin.
Ezekiel 16:30-32 (ESV) – Ho si k is our heart, de lares the Lord GOD, e ause ou did all
these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute, [31] building your vaulted chamber at the head of
every street, and making your lofty place in every square. Yet you were not like a prostitute,
because you scorned payment. [32] Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her
husband!

26
God like ed Is ael’s spi itual idolat to adulte a d p ostitutio , a d He used these po erful
etapho s f e ue tl . God as Is ael’s hus a d, a d He o side ed he u faithful ess to Hi
to be disgusting and vulgar, worse even than the behavior of a prostitute.
Given that worshiping other gods is the same as making a covenant with them, and that the
same act is compared to prostitution and adultery, the inevitable conclusion is that spiritual
prostitution and adultery establishes a covenant with these gods. It follows that physical
adultery or prostitution also creates a covenant with other people, for the earthly aspects of
marriage are a reflection of the spiritual (Eph. 5:25-32). We saw this earlier in 1 Cor. 6:16-17, in
which Paul says that to unite with a prostitute is to be one flesh with her. The act that marriage
(Gen. 2:24), adultery and prostitution have in common is sex.
Hosea 2:4-7 (ESV) – Upo her hildre I ill ha e o er , e ause they are children of
whoredom. [5] For their mother has played the whore; she who conceived them has acted
sha efull . For she said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my bread and my water, my
ool a d fla , oil a d dri k. [ ] Therefore I ill hedge up her a ith thor s, a d I
will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. [7] She shall pursue her lovers
but not o ertake the , a d she shall seek the ut shall ot fi d the . The she shall sa , I ill
go and return to my first husband, for it was better for me than now.
The harlot (symbolizing Israel in this passage) has had many husbands: her first (rightful)
hus a d, a d he lo e s. The o d t a slated as fi st i e se is the He e o d
ri'shown, ea i g fi st, p i a , fo e . Gese ius’s Le i o defi es it to ea fi st,
whether in time or in order and place. 1
“o the o a ’s ightful a /hus a d was her first in
sequence, and we can see that her lovers were therefore considered to be her later husbands.
The act of sex, however casual or meaningless the intention, nevertheless creates a marriage
bond and covenant.
Ezekiel 17:16-19 (ESV) – As I li e, de lares the Lord GOD, surel i the pla e here the ki g
dwells who made him king, whose oath he despised, and whose covenant with him he broke,
in Babylon he shall die. [17] Pharaoh with his mighty army and great company will not help him
in war, when mounds are cast up and siege walls built to cut off many lives. [18] He despised
the oath in breaking the covenant, and behold, he gave his hand and did all these things; he
shall ot es ape. [ ] Therefore thus sa s the Lord GOD: As I li e, surely it is my oath that he
despised, and my covenant that he broke. I ill retur it upo his head.
1
Blue Letter Bible website. [Online]

27
Hosea 10:4 (ESV) – They utter mere words; with empty oaths they make covenants; so
judgment springs up like poisonous weeds in the furrows of the field.
We see here that an oath made between humans is in reality a covenant that includes God as
well. If you commit adultery, then you sin not only against your spouse, but against God
Himself.
However, there is a significant difference between these sinful one-flesh unions and righteous
unions. A righteous, or blessed, union is formed when a virgin man and woman join together in
covenant:
Ezekiel 16:59-60 (ESV) – For thus sa s the Lord GOD: I ill deal ith ou as ou ha e do e, you
who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, [60] yet I will remember my covenant
with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant.
Compare this to the following passage:
Malachi 2:14-16 (ESV) – But ou sa , Wh does he ot [a ept our offeri g ith fa or]?
Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have
been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. [15] Did He not make
them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly
offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your
youth. [16] For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of
Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your
spirit, a d do ot e faithless.
Earlier in this passage, the Lord speaks of covenants He has made, such as the covenant with
Levi (Mal. 2:4). The Levitical covenant was similar to the covenant God made with Israel, in that
it was established by, and for, the two parties involved. Now, note that in verse 15, it was not
man, or a ceremony, that made the man and his wife one. It was God! So God is the one who
joins a husband and wife spiritually, and who makes them one flesh.
The Lo d’s state e t et I ill re e er o e a t ith ou i the da s of our outh ,
back in Ezekiel 16:60, bears a marked resemblance to Malachi 2:14. Both verses focus on the
timing of the covenant – it as ade i the su je t’s outh. The obvious implication is that the
wife spoken of in both cases was the first one, and that she was the only righteous one. Implicit
in this statement is the legitimacy of this first union – it cannot fall in one of the forbidden
categories of marriage, such as pagan or incestuous.

28
The direct association between sex and covenant is expressed clearly in the following two
passages:
Isaiah 57:8 (ESV) – Behind the door and the doorpost you have set up your memorial; for,
deserting me, you have uncovered your bed, you have gone up to it, you have made it wide;
and you have made a covenant for yourself with them, you have loved their bed, you have
looked on nakedness.
Proverbs 2:16-17 (ESV) – So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the
adulteress with her smooth words, [17] who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets
the covenant of her God;
What does it ea to fo get a o e a t?
Deuteronomy 4:23 (ESV) – Take are, lest ou forget the ovenant of the LORD your God,
which he made with you, and make a carved image, the form of anything that the LORD your
God has for idde ou.
Deuteronomy 8:11 (ESV) – Take are lest ou forget the LO‘D our God ot keepi g his
commandments and his rules a d his statutes, hi h I o a d ou toda ,
Deuteronomy 8:19 (ESV) – A d if ou forget the LO‘D our God a d go after other gods a d
ser e the a d orship the , I sole l ar ou toda that ou shall surel perish.
To forget a covenant is to break it. The adulteress is breaking the covenant she made with the
companion of her youth – her husband – and the spiritual covenant between her, her husband,
and God. This is closely related to spiritual adultery: forgetting your God and worshiping other
gods. To worship God is to keep the covenant between you and Him, but to worship other gods
is to break that covenant by establishing one with those gods. Worship is closely associated
with sex, as can be seen by Isaiah 57:8 (and Hosea 4:14, which compares sexual relations with
cult prostitutes to idolatry). Worship is a covenant-making activity, and so is sex.
At its fou datio , sex is a covenant relationship et ee t o people…
– 1
Dr. Grant C. Richison
1
Richison, Dr. Grant C. Theology of Sex. [Online] http://versebyversecommentary.com/articles/theology-of-sex/.

29
We have now seen that God has defined the marriage relationship as a covenant (Mal. 2:14;
Prov. 2:17): one that is established by the vow implicit in the act of sex, and which does not
require any human witnesses to take effect. It is not only a covenant between the man and
woman, but also between them and God, who has made them one. He has declared a husband
and wife to be companions from their youth, and commands them to be faithful to each other.
The terrible act of adultery breaks this covenant by establishing an unrighteous marriage with
another person.
Legal fo s o o t a ts a ot e d a a iage i God’s e es, a d eithe a the sta t o e.
He is the Author and Witness of this marriage covenant, and based on all of the passages
examined so far, the covenant is created the first time a couple consummates their love. It is
renewed every subsequent time they come together, making their bond ever stronger.

30
Sexual Immorality
If marriages are covenant relationships that are created when couples have sexual relations,
can there be such a thing as premarital sex? We have already seen that a righteous marriage is
formed when two virgins become one flesh (assuming that it was not the result of prostitution,
incest, or some other sinful type of union). We have also seen that immoral unions still result in
marriages, albeit unrighteous marriages that God desires to be ended. In this chapter, we will
take a look at the sin of fornication, and will see what kinds of sex are actually condemned in
the Bible.
The Fornication Fallacy
One of the most common arguments brought to bear against so- alled p e a ital se akes
note of the multitude of verses throughout the Bible that emphasize the sinfulness of
fornication, and concludes that these verses collectively condemn the act of sex before legal
marriage.
However, the English word fo i atio has its origin in prostitution 1
, and that still appears to
have been the primary sense of the word when it was used as the translation for the Greek
word por eia in the King James era, although by then it had already acquired the additional
ea i g of p e a ital se as ell.
Craig Car er s A Histor of E glish i its O Words – The early Christian writers who created
the verb fornicari (to frequent brothels) would have delighted in the coincident association between the
burning in hell s fur a e for this si a d the origi of the ord i Lati for us heat a d for us or for a
(oven), the source of English furnace and fornication. A fornax was an arched or vaulted brick oven.
During the late republican period, the Romans constructed under their great buildings large vaulted
basements resembling the arched brickwork of ovens. Around the time of Christ, the poor and
prostitutes lived in these gloomy underground dwellings, the latter plying their ancient trade there.
Fornax (oven) then be a e for i rothel ith refere e to the prostitutes aulted ri k ho els. Old
French adopted fornication from the Late Latin fornicationem, which had shifted its meaning from the
visitation of brothels to the sexual act itself. 2
1
Dictionary.com website. [Online] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fornication.
2
Carver, Craig. A History of English in its Own Words. s.l. : HarperCollins, 1991. pp. 53-54.

31
Arcade Dictionary of Word Origins – Early Christian writers homed in on the prostitutes, and
e plo ed the ter ith the spe ifi ea i g rothel , whence the verb fornicari ha e illi it se ual
i ter ourse and its derivative fornication, source of English fornication. 1
Tho as Blou t s Gloffographia A gli a a No a 7 7 – Fornication: Whoredom between
unmarried Perfons. 2
‘. Bro s The E glish E pofitor I pro d 7 9 – fornication: Whoredom committed between
single Persons, whereas if either, or both Parties so offending be married, it is called Adultery, and is
punishable with Death by the Common Law. 3
Originally, fo i atio had the specific meaning of isiti g a othel o i te ou se with a
p ostitute ho edo , ut toda it is a poo t a slatio fo the G eek o d porneia. While
prostitution is certainly a sin, it does not refer to virgins who have sex because they love each
other.
The o igi of the o d porneia a d the asso iated o ds i its o d fa il is f o pernao,
ea i g to sell :
Paul told the Thessalonians to avoid it. He told the Corinthians to flee from it. He told the Galatians it
as a ork of the flesh. It as se ual i oralit — referred to by the Greek word porneia. This word
comes from po ē, prostitute, which comes from the word pernao, ea i g to sell. Porneia is what
prostitutes sold. The English word pornography comes from this same root word. 4
Porneía the root of the E glish ter s por ograph , por ographi ; f. /pórnos) which is derived
from pernaō, to sell off. 5
The G eek o d fa il of porn- o sists of th ee ou s porneia , porne a d pornos a d
two ver s ekporneuo a d porneuo . 6
Porneuo ea s to a t the ha lot, hethe lite all o ei g idolat ous. 7
Ekporneuo
esse tiall is the sa e o d, ut a plified the p efi ek to i di ate a o plete satisfa tio
1
Ayto, John. Arcade Dictionary of Word Origins. s.l. : Arcade Publishing, 1990. p. 237.
2
Blount, Thomas. Gloffographia Anglicana Nova. s.l. : D. Brown, 1707.
3
Bullokar, John. The English Expofitor Improv'd. [ed.] Richard Browne. 12. London : A. & J. Churchill, 1719. p. 115.
4
Morrison, Michael. Gci.org website. [Online] http://www.gci.org/bible/1th4.
5
Helps Ministries, Inc. Biblesuite.org website. [Online] http://biblesuite.com/greek/4202.htm.
6
ParkviewCOC.org. The Works of the Flesh: "Fornication". [Online]
http://parkviewcoc.org/Bible%20Class%20Material/special%20studies/WORKS%20OF%20FLESH%20ONE.PDF.
7
Levendwater.org website. [Online] http://www.levendwater.org/bible_interlinear/greek/4203.htm.

32
of lust in the process. 1
Porne 2
a d pornos 3
are nouns that refer to female and male
prostitutes, respectively. So the root meaning of the words in this fa il is p ostitutio –
selli g o e’s od fo se – and therefore they make no reference to sexual relations between
two virgins.
Dr. Bruce Malina did an in-depth study of the porneia word group in Scripture, and came to a
similar conclusion: these words were never intended to refer to the sexual relations of an
unmarried couple, but rather to sex with a cultic or commercial prostitute, or just unlawful
conduct in general. 4
I a si ila ei , the o d za ah “t o g’s H is the He e a alogue to the Greek
porneia, a d has the ea i g of fo i atio a d ha lot . 5
We will look at this in greater
depth in a later section of this chapter.
Porneia: Defined by the Context
The fi st defi itio of the o d porneia i the le i o oadl o side s it to e illi it se of
any kind. 6
The e a ples gi e i lude adulte , fo i atio , ho ose ualit , les ia is ,
i te ou se ith a i als, et . It fu the e tio s i est, and sex with a divorced person. The
other definition given for this word is the o ship of idols, hi h is at least etapho i al
prostitution, but may also include the literal act.
Therefore, in order to know what kind of sexual sin is being referenced in a given verse, one
must examine the context. Recall that this word is a member of a word family whose other
members refer almost exclusively to prostitution.
The o d porneia o u s ti es i the Ne Testa e t i e ses , ut ofte is o l
mentioned in a list of other sins, so that the intended meaning must be illegal sex in general. In
1
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G1608&t=KJV.
2
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G4204&t=ESV.
3
4
Malina, Dr. Bruce. Metalog.org website. [Online] http://www.metalog.org/files/malina.html.
5
BlueLetterBible.org website. [Online] http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=H2181
6

33
the cases where a more specific kind of immorality can be identified, we find many types, but
o e that o e lose to se et ee t o i gi s that a e ot legall a ied. Let’s look at
ea h ti e porneia is used:
 There are eleve e ses that i lude porneia i a list of othe si s:
o Matt. 15:19; Mark 7:21; Acts 15:20; Acts 15:29; Acts 21:25; Rom. 1:29; 2 Cor.
12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; Rev. 9:21
When used in this manner, only the broadest meaning of the word can be
reasonably taken as the intended meaning. In this case, it should be interpreted as
ge e al se ual i o alit hi h i ludes all illegal se o pe haps idolat . I
neither case does this necessarily refer to relations between singles.
 There are six verses in Revelation that refer to Babylon/the great whore of the end
ti es, a d thus a e efe i g to the figu ati e se se of porneia : idolat a d tu i g
away from God.
o Rev. 2:21; Rev. 14:8; Rev. 17:2; Rev. 17:4; Rev. 18:3; Rev. 19:2
 There are eight e ses i hi h the spe ifi ea i g of porneia has ot et ee
studied:
o 1 Cor. 6:18; 1 Cor. 7:2; John 8:41; 1 Cor. 5:1; 1 Cor. 6:13; 1 Thess. 4:3-6; Matt.
5:32; Matt. 19:9
We will now examine each of these last eight verses in context.
1 Corinthians 6:16-18 (ESV) – Or do ou ot k o that he ho is joined to a prostitute
becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, The t o ill e o e o e flesh. [ ] But he
who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. [18] Flee from sexual immorality. Every
other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his
o od .
Now, based on the context of the immediately preceding verses (1 Cor. 6:16-17), the phrase
flee se ual i o alit i e se efe s to uniting with a prostitute. This does not point to
p e a ital se . I the e t se te e, the ph ase the se uall i o al pe so si s agai st his
o od is the efo e ost likel talki g a out the o e od that he a d his ife a e as
e’ll see sho tl , this interpretation is supported by 1 Cor. 7). Being with a prostitute is a sin
against not just himself, but also against his spouse, because they are one body.

34
In 1 Cor. 7, Paul continues talking about immorality, and how to avoid it:
1 Corinthians 7:1-2 (ESV) – No o er i g the atters a out hi h ou rote: It is good for
a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. [2] But because of the temptation to sexual
immorality, ea h a should ha e his o ife a d ea h o a her o hus a d.
Taken at face value, it may seem that these verses are saying to avoid having sex unless you are
hus a d a d ife. But that is a disto tio of Paul’s i te ded ea i g.
The G eek o d kalon the o i ati e si gula ase of kalos is t a slated as good he e in
e se , ut “t o g’s o o da e gi es the ea i g as ideal, eautiful, e elle t, p e ious,
commendable a o g othe si ila o ds . 1
The o d good appea s agai i e ses a d , t a slated f o kalon, as efo e:
1 Corinthians 7:8 (ESV) – To the u arried a d the ido s I sa that it is good for them to
remain single, as I a .
1 Corinthians 7:26 (ESV) – I thi k that i ie of the prese t distress it is good for a person to
remain as he is.
No let’s look at the egi i g of hapte 7 in its entirety, to understand the full contextual
meaning of the first two verses:
1 Corinthians 7:1-9 (ESV) – No o er i g the atters a out hi h ou rote: It is good for
a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. [2] But because of the temptation to sexual
immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. [3] The
husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. [4]
For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the
husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. [5] Do not deprive one
another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to
prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack
of self-control. [6] Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. [7] I wish that all were as I
myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. [8] To the
unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. [9] But if they
1

35
cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with
passion.
Notice the similar mention of a lack of self-control in verses 5 and 9, and the reference to
temptation stemming from celibacy within marriage. The best interpretation of this passage
would therefore not be that it is wrong for men to have sexual relations with women, but
athe that it is e el ideal, o o e dable, for men to be as Paul was – single. But if they
cannot exercise self-control, it is better to marry than risk the temptation to satisfy these
desires with prostitutes. Keep i i d that Paul’s p efe e tial attitude to a d si gle ess here
was not permanent or global, but rather was a recommendation for a specific situation and
time period, due to the imminent hardships for the church.
Note that cultic prostitution was a big problem in Corinth at that time:
Like any large commercial city, Corinth was a center for open and unbridled immorality. The worship of
Aphrodite fostered prostitution in the name of religion. At one time 1,000 sacred (priestess) prostitutes
served her temple. So widely known did the immorality of Corinth become that the Greek verb to
Cori thia ize a e to ea to pra ti e se ual i oralit . I a setti g like this it is o o der that the
Corinthian church was plagued with numerous problems. 1
The four verses immediately preceding verses 1 and 2 (1 Cor. 6:16-20) are a reprimand to the
church about the immorality of being with a prostitute. The verses immediately following
verses 1 and 2 (1 Cor. 7:3-5) contain a discourse on married couples, and how they are to have
sex regularly in order to avoid the temptation by Satan to commit sexual immorality.
So based on the context, the immoral deed under consideration in verses 1 and 2 must be
prostitution (which may include adultery) – men becoming one flesh with harlots. In order to
avoid the immorality of having sex with a prostitute, men and women should marry and have
regular sexual relations with their spouses alone. Therefore, this passage cannot be interpreted
as a declaration that sex before legal marriage is immoral.
John 8:39-44 (ESV) – The a s ered hi , Abraham is our father. Jesus said to the , If ou
ere A raha s hildre , ou ould e doi g the orks A raha did, [ ] ut o ou seek to
kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. This is not what Abraham did.
[41] You are doing the works your father did. The said to hi , We were not born of sexual
immorality. We have one Father – even God. [ ] Jesus said to the , If God ere our Father,
1
Zondervan NIV Study Bible. Biblica.com website. [Online]
http://www.biblica.com/niv/study-bible/1-corinthians/.

36
you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but He
sent me. [43] Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my
word. [44] You are of your father the devil…
Here the Pharisees are saying that they have the same father as Christ says he has – God. If the
devil was in fact their father, it would imply that they were children of spiritual adultery and
idolatry. This passage certainly does not address premarital sex.
1 Corinthians 5:1 (ESV) – It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you,
and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife.
This e se is a good e a ple of h porneia should e o side ed a ge e al te fo all the
types of illi it se . It sa s of a ki d that is ot tole ated e e a o g paga s, i di ati g that
there are other kinds, some of which may be tolerated, and some which may not. In this case, it
is clearly referring to incest.
1 Corinthians 6:13 (ESV) – Food is meant for the sto a h a d the sto a h for food --and God
will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the
Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Paul is sa i g he e that e should ot satisf ou od ’s desi es just e ause e ha e the eed
or ability to do so. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we should treat it that way.
Again, this is a generalized reference to illegal sex, but given the context of the passage, is
probably referring to prostitution.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 (ESV) – For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain
from sexual immorality; [4] that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness
and honor, [5] not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; [6] that no one
transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these
things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you.
What kind of immorality is verse 3 referring to here? Verse 6 gives the reason for this command
as ei g that o o e t a sg ess a d o g his othe i this atter, because the Lord is an
avenger . It is u lea hat t a sg essio this ight e, ut gi e that it appea s to i ol e a
third party in some manner, it could well be adultery. Either way, this verse cannot be used to
denounce sex before a wedding, especially because the intended meaning of porneia here is
unclear.

37
Matthew 5:31-32 (ESV) – "It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a
certificate of divorce. [32] But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the
ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced
woman commits adultery.
He e, se ual i o alit appea s i the e eptio lause of the e se i hi h Jesus dis usses
marriage and divorce. Based on the context, porneia here must be referring to some form of
adultery: having sex with one person while already married (or perhaps betrothed) to another.
Matthew 19:7-9 (ESV) – The said to hi , Wh the did Moses o a d o e to gi e a
certificate of divorce and to se d her a a ? [ ] He said to the , Be ause of our hard ess of
heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. [9] And I
say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another,
commits adultery.
Just as in Matt. 5:31-32, Jesus is discussing the subject of marriage and divorce. Here porneia is
referring to illicit sex involving married persons, rather than premarital relations between
unmarried persons.
Zanah: Defined by the Context
If we take a look at the LXX – the Greek translation of the Old Testament – we can see that the
Hebrew word that corresponds to porneia is zanah. For all but two of the passages in which it is
used (from the Hebrew concordance), the context clearly indicates that prostitution or adultery
(whether sexual, idolatrous, or both at once) is the intended meaning.
Occurrences with purely sexual meanings: Lev. 19:29; Josh. 2:1; Judges 11:1-2.
Occurrences with purely idolatrous meanings: Gen. 38:15; Ezek. 16:16; Isaiah 23:17.
Occurrences with simultaneous idolatrous and sexual connotations: Jer. 3:1; Num. 25:1; Hos.
1:2.
The t o appea a es of zanah that a appea at fi st to efe to p e a ital sex, rather
than harlotry, are found in Genesis 34 and Deuteronomy 22:13-21.
In the ase of Ge . the sto of Di ah a d “he he , “he he ’s elatio s ith Di ah e e
immoral due to the fact that Shechem was an uncircumcised foreigner (Gen. 34:14).

38
In the case of Deut. 22:13-21, which was discussed earlier in this paper, the young woman who
was found to not be a virgin on her wedding night is declared to have been a whore in her
fathe ’s house. Ho e e , she was most likely already betrothed when she had relations with
someone else. In those days, women were betrothed at a very young age, and cheating on
o e’s p o ised spouse as e ui ale t to adulte Deut. : -24, Lev. 20:10). Furthermore,
the death penalty is not applied to the case of an un-betrothed virgin with a man, but is applied
here. Therefore the woma did ot e el ha e p e a ital se , ut athe , she ho ed afte
a man while betrothed to another. She may have prostituted herself to earn money for her
household or for her own independence, or she may have lain with a foreign sojourner – as in
Hos. 4:14, this would constitute a doubly sinful act that was both adulterous and idolatrous.
Hosea 4:13-14 (ESV) – They sacrifice on the tops of the mountains and burn offerings on the
hills, under oak, poplar, and terebinth, because their shade is good. Therefore your daughters
play the whore, and your brides commit adultery. [14] I will not punish your daughters when
they play the whore, nor your brides when they commit adultery; for the men themselves go
aside with prostitutes and sacrifice with cult prostitutes, and a people without understanding
shall come to ruin.
Therefore, in the OT, zanah refers to prostitution, adultery, or idolatry, but never to the act of
sex prior to a legal marriage.
Analysis of Some Indirect References to Sexual Immorality
Frequently, the passage in John 4 about the woman at the well is used to argue the position
that p e a ital se is si ful. Let’s look at the e ses:
John 4:16-18 (ESV) – Jesus said to her, Go, all our hus a d, a d o e here. [ ] The o a
answered hi , I ha e o hus a d. Jesus said to her, You are right i sa i g I ha e o
hus a d ; [ ] for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband.
What ou ha e said is true. [ ] The woman said to hi , “ir, I per ei e that you are a
prophet.
This passage is not necessarily saying anything about pu el premarital relations. Nowhere is
it stated that the woman and man were both single at the time. All we know for sure is that she
as u e tl ha i g G eek echo) a man that was not hers. Either one of them could have

39
been married to another person, making their sin adultery. Such usage of the term may be
fou d i Ma k : , hi h speaks of He od ha i g his othe ’s ife He odias u la full .
This o a ’s situatio is a puzzling one regardless of the view one holds on how a marriage is
formed – whether by sex, verbal commitment before God and witnesses, or legal documents.
There are five potential explanations for her previous relationships:
1) She was a five-time widow.
2) She was involved in a polyandrous (multiple husband) marriage.
3) She legally married five men in succession, without benefit of divorce or death.
4) She was a prostitute or loose woman, and had sex with six successive men, including her
current partner.
5) She was a five-time divorceé.
Unless she was a serial killer, possibility #1 is quite unlikely (though it bears an uncanny
ese la e to the “addu ees’ iddle to Ch ist i Luke : . Possibility #2 would be unheard
of in a patriarchal, often polygamous culture. The probability of #3 is low, as this would require
that she have been abandoned (illegally) and/or that she had run away from her husband
multiple times. #4 is possible, and would explain the passage well in light of the true theology of
sex and marriage discussed in this paper. Possibility #5 is quite reasonable if she had some
significant hidden flaw, such as being barren.
Some additional observations will help clarify this passage further. In verse 17, the woman
indicates that she is fully aware that she has no husband. She would have little reason to lie in
this way to a stranger (if anything, she would have said that she did have a husband who was
simply not nearby). So she was probably not married (legally) to anyone at the time, but was
ha i g o e a ho as ot he s.
Fu the o e, the o a ’s espo se to Ch ist’s state e t a out he fi e past hus a ds is “i , I
pe ei e that ou a e a p ophet e se . She agreed with his statement, thus most likely
supporting the plain meaning: she had been legally married to five previous men.
In verse 18, Jesus says that she was having one man. If she was a prostitute, it is unlikely that
she would only have one client at a time, or only six clients in her life. She also probably would
not seek out an unmarried man after having had five husbands, for she would expect that
marriage to end shortly as well.

40
From these points emerges the most likely conclusion: the woman at the well was a five-time
divorceé, probably due to a barren womb or some similar issue considered to be shameful in
that day. Because of her failure in marriage, she probably felt her only recourse was to become
a lover to a well-to-do married man who would only want one thing from her. In exchange for
these regular liaisons, he provided for her.
In this passage, Jesus e poses the o a ’s desperation-fueled adultery, using it to reveal her
need for living water. Unless she was a widow, she was still married to someone else, even if
her current partner was unmarried. Therefore, this passage cannot be used to declare pre-
wedding sex to be sinful.
Matthew 5:28 (ESV) – But I sa to ou that e er o e ho looks at a o a ith lustful i te t
has already committed adultery ith her i his heart.
This verse is sometimes used to argue that e ause Jesus said to look at a o a , he ea t
that lusting after any woman is to commit adultery with her (even unmarried women). But this
argument does not make sense, under closer examination.
The G eek o d t a slated as adulte is moicheuo, and is exclusively used in Scripture to
refer to the act of sexual intercourse when at least one person is married to someone else. 1
So
Jesus had the violation of an existing marriage union in mind when he said this. If Christ meant
that to look upon any woman with lustful intent would be sinful, he would have used the word
porneia athe tha moicheuo, i o de to efe e e illi it se i ge e al i ludi g
adultery).
Co side also that the o d t a slated as o a he e is gyne, hi h a ea o a ,
ife, o et othed o a . 2
As usual, one must use the context to determine which
meaning should be applied here. Since Jesus refers to divorce and marriage just three verses
later (Matt. 5:31- , it follo s that gyne is ost likel i te ded to ea a othe a ’s
ife. I a ase, it ould ’t ake se se to sa that looki g lustfull upo any woman is
si ful, si e a o a ould i lude o e’s o ife. That alo e disp o es the asse tio that
a o a a efe to a o a .
This, in fact, is how the respected early Christian thinker Justin Martyr understood this passage,
in Chapter XV of his First Apology. Here is an excerpt (emphasis mine):
1
BibleStudyTools.com website. [Online] http://www.searchgodsword.org/lex/grk/view.cgi?number=3431.
2

41
Concerning chastity, He uttered such sentiments as these: Whosoe er looketh upo a o a to lust
after her, hath o itted adulter ith her alread i his heart efore God. A d, If th right e e
offend thee, cut it out; for it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of heaven with one eye, than,
having two eyes, to be cast into everlasting fire. A d, Whosoe er shall arr her that is di or ed fro
a other hus a d, o itteth adulter . A d, There are so e ho ha e ee ade eu u hs of e ,
and some who were born eunuchs, and some who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of
heaven's sake; ut all a ot re ei e this sa i g. So that all who, by human law, are twice married, are
in the eye of our Master sinners, and those who look upon a woman to lust after her. For not only he
who in act commits adultery is rejected by Him, but also he who desires to commit adultery: since not
only our works, but also our thoughts, are open before God. 1
Martyr talks about remarriage as being sinful, and then right afterward refers to those who
merely look upon a woman lustfully as adulterers. So he u de sta ds the o a i this
passage to be a married woman. In this quote we can also again see the clear distinction drawn
et ee hu a la a d God’s la , et ee a ’s disto ted defi itio of a iage a d God’s
definition.
One last note on Matthew : : the o d t a slated as lustful i te t is epithymeo, hose
ea i gs i lude lo g fo , o et, a d seek fo idde thi gs. 2
Compare with the
following verse:
Exodus 20:17 (ESV) – "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your
neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything
that is your neighbor's."
The running theme throughout the Bible is that it is sinful to be an adulterer, or to even have
desi e fo a othe ’s ife.
Hebrews 13:4 (ESV) – Let arriage e held i ho or a o g all, a d let the marriage bed be
u defiled, for God ill judge the se uall i oral a d adulterous.
This verse is another one routinely used as proof that the Bible condemns premarital sex. But
upon closer examination, this is not correct. If marriage is to be honored, and the marriage bed
kept undefiled, then what must the point of the passage be? Marital fidelity! The verse states
that God ill judge the se uall i o al he e pornos, a as uli e ou that ea s ale
1
Martyr, Justin. Chapter XV – What Christ Hi self Taught. The First Apolog of Justi . [Online]
http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/text/justinmartyr-firstapology.html.
2
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G1937&t=KJV.

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