meal service and etiquette

2. We will define 7 different
styles of dining service.
The type of meal service may
depend on several factors:
The number of people eating
The formal or casual meal tone
Where the meal is eaten
Meal service, or dining
style, simply refers to the
way a meal is served to the
diner and who is serving it.

3. All required meal components, except
the dessert, are placed on the table at
the same time for casual dining.
Platters and bowls of food are passed
around the table… to the right, or
counter-clockwise. Participants serve
themselves from the serving dishes,
using the utensil that accompanies
each dish.
Participants are allowed to make
choices selecting foods and the size of
the serving. When preparing food,
always prepare enough that each
person is allowed at least one, full-size
serving.
Adults supervising the meal help those
participants who are not able to serve
themselves, such as the children.
Foods may be re-passed again later, if
desired, for second helpings.

4. In the English style service, the platters and
bowls of food are placed in front of the table
“host”, along with a stack of dinner plates.
The host carves and serves the meat and
side dishes, and passes the filled plates
around the table to the hostess and the
guests. Sometimes the hostess assists with
the serving. Condiments, rolls, relishes, etc.
are usually found elsewhere on the table
and passed around family style.
Hostess
Host
serves
from
here
Stack of
Plates
Main
course
Vegetable dish
Rolls Relishes
Correctly, no person would start
eating until everyone has
received their plate. The host
serves himself last.

5. Service à la russe (French, literally
meaning "service in the Russian style“ )
is a manner of dining that involves
courses being brought to the table
sequentially.
Dishes are served at the guest's left
and removed from the right side.
Glasses are filled from the right.
Example of a meal served in 4 courses:
Soup
Salad
Entrée
Dessert
Each course is brought out separately,
and the plate removed before the next
course is served.

6. Hors d’ouvres
or beverages are
often served
“butler style” to
standing guests.
The food or drink
items and
cocktail napkins
would be on the
tray.
In the butler style of service, the server
presents the food to the guests and they help
themselves from the trays. If guests are
seated, the “butler” stands to the diner’s left.
The butler continues to hold the tray while the
guest takes the amount of food they want.
You don’t have to
employ a butler in
order to serve
“butler style”.

7. Service à la francaise (pronounced frahn-say), the traditional French service is
no longer used. It was a service in which all the food was brought out at once
in an impressive, but often impractical, display in the center of the table.
Guests reached in to the foods they could reach, and took what they wanted.
The classic French meal service is elegant
and elaborate. At least some foods or
courses are fully or partially prepared
tableside or at the table, in view of the
guests.
Tableside preparations are made on a
portable cart called a gueridon (gha-ree-
dawn) with a cooking unit called a rechaud
(ray-choh).
Tableside preparation might include
assembling a dish, such as a Caesar salad,
saucing and garnishing, sautéing and
flambéing, or carving and deboning.

8. The blue plate meal service is
especially useful when the table
size is too small for serving
dishes, or when passing platters
or bowls of food would be
difficult for some guests (such
as children). The entrée and
side dishes are all served
together on one plate.
When the blue plate service is used, sometimes
referred to as the blue plate special, a salad or
dessert may sometimes be included but served on
a separate plate than the main dish. In the
Russian service, they would be served as courses,
sequentially, but in the blue plate service they are
all brought to the table at the same time.

9. The buffet service is especially convenient for serving large groups of people
or for guests who will be eating at staggered times. The food is placed on
platters and in bowls on the long buffet table. Guests take a plate and then
serve themselves from those platters and bowls. In some situations, servers
may be present behind the buffet table to assist the guests in filling their
plates. A buffet line should move from left to right when possible.
After filling their plates,
guests may stand to eat, but
the host should plan a place
for them to set a beverage.
If guests are seated at tables
after going through the
buffet line, a wider variety of
food items may be offered. If
guests are seated, they can
have several plates, perhaps
on a tray, and they can cut
meats.

10. There are two ways to use a
knife and fork…
In the American style, a right-handed person cuts
the food by holding the knife in the right hand and
the fork in the left hand with the fork tines piercing
the food to secure it on the plate. Cut one or two
bite-size pieces of food, then lay your knife across
the top edge of your plate with the sharp edge of
the blade facing in. Change your fork from your
left to your right hand to eat, fork tines facing up.
The European or Continental
style is the same for cutting,
but your fork remains in
your left hand, tines facing
down, and the knife in your
right hand. Simply eat the
cut pieces of food by picking
them up with your fork still
in your left hand.

11. The fork should be held with the handle between
the index finger and the thumb and resting on
the side of your middle finger.
Never gesture with a knife of fork, especially if it has food on it.
Never lick any utensil or put your knife in your mouth.
It is impolite to start eating before everyone has been served.
Never chew with your mouth open.
Don't reach over someone's plate for something, ask for the item to be passed.
Never talk with food in your mouth.
It is impolite to put too much food in your mouth.
Never use your fingers to push food onto your spoon or fork.
It is impolite to slurp your food or eat noisily.
Never use your napkin as a handkerchief .
Never take food from your neighbors plate.
Use a napkin to remove food from your teeth, or excuse yourself from the table.
When entertaining a guest, such as when out
for dinner, the person who extended the
invitation (regardless of gender) is
responsible for paying the bill.

12. Oyster crackers or croutons, when
served with the soup, are put in the soup
whole with your fingers or spoon.
Fill the spoon with soup by pushing it
away from you, then sip from its side.
Larger soda crackers should not be
crumbled into the soup and are best kept
on the plate and eaten with the soup.
The tipping of soup dishes is acceptable
once or twice IF the plate is tipped
slightly away from you, not toward you.
The spoon should never strike or scrape
the bottom of the bowl loud enough to
make an audible noise.
The soup is eaten with a larger-bowled soup spoon. If the soup is served in a
bowl, the spoon is placed on the liner behind the bowl when finished. If the
soup is served in a large soup plate, the spoon may be left in the plate.

13. The most common mistake is to
overload too much pasta on the
fork. If you decide it’s too big or too
long, drop it down and pick up a
smaller bunch.
Take a little bunch of the spaghetti with the prongs of
the fork. Push it against the bowl of a spoon. Now,
working with the fork in a near-vertical position, and
the prongs against the bowl of the spoon, twirl the fork
clockwise with your fingers to roll the spaghetti around
your fork.
Do not cut the threads of the pasta.
Do not slurp any threads or sauce.
Do not splatter the sauce. Only
children should use a bib.
Eating spaghetti correctly has been
“Americanized” by incorporating
the use of a spoon to help twirl the
spaghetti. If the spaghetti is served in a pasta plate,
you may prefer to use the sides of the plate instead of a
spoon.

14. The meal begins when the host unfolds
his or her napkin. This is your signal to
do the same. Place your napkin on your
lap, completely unfolded if it is a small
luncheon napkin or in half, lengthwise, if
it is a large dinner napkin. The napkin
remains on your lap throughout the
entire meal and should be used to gently
blot your mouth when needed. If you
need to leave the table during the meal,
place your napkin on your chair as a
signal to your server that you will be
returning. The host will signal the end of
the meal by placing his or her napkin on
the table. Once the meal is over, you too
should place your napkin neatly on the
table to the right of your dinner plate. Do
not refold your napkin, but don't wad it
up, either. Do not push your plate away
from you when you have finished eating.
If you drop your napkin during the
meal, simply retrieve it if possible
or ask the server for another.

15. Always follow the lead of your
host/hostess if you don’t know how to eat
a particular food. Do what they do.
Unless you are at a picnic, you should eat
chicken, barbeque, and pizza with a knife
and fork.
To eat lobster or crab, start by cracking the
shell with a nutcracker and then extract
the meat with a seafood fork. Pull off the
small claws and suck out the meat as if
you were drawing liquid through a straw.
You can eat cake with your fingers if it's in
bite-size pieces. If it comes as a whole
slice, if it's sticky, or if it comes with sauce
or ice cream, use both a fork and spoon.
Say “please” when asking for something;
and “thank you” when served something.
If the tails are still attached on shrimp,
you may use your fingers to eat them.
If you eat tortillas with your hands,
start eating them at one open end,
holding the other end closed.
Unless you are eating fast food, cut
French fries in half and eat them with
your fork.
Use both hands to eat an ear of corn.
Butter and eat only a few rows at a
time.

16. It is impolite to put elbows on tables.
Doing so creates a risk of tipping over
bowls and cups. In casual settings, this
rule has become relaxed, especially while
lingering after a meal for conversation,
when the table has been cleared.
If you are seated at a table with place
cards, it is NEVER acceptable to switch,
or even ask to switch the placement of
the cards.
When you put something in your mouth
that you cannot swallow, the rule of thumb
is to remove it the same way it went in…
with your spoon, fork, or fingers. Move the
offensive item forward with your tongue
onto the fork and place it back on the side
of your plate.
Wait until you have finished chewing and
have swallowed your food before taking
a sip of your beverage.

17. If you do not want a
beverage or a refill,
never turn your cup
or glass upside
down. Simply hold
your hand over the
top of the
beverageware when
the server arrives.
It is appropriate to share food
when others at the table are also
willing to share. However, always
request additional small plates and
clean utensils for dividing the
shared food. People often choose
to share a large dessert portion
after a meal.
When offered rolls or bread, tear or cut off a portion and
place it on your bread plate. Also take butter from the butter
dish and place on your plate. As you eat the bread, tear a
small piece of bread from the roll, loaf, or slice. Butter it and
eat it in one or two bites. Tear another piece when ready.
Secure lemon wedges with a fork and squeeze with the other
hand or, if you pick up a wedge to squeeze between the fingers,
use the other hand as a "squirt shield“.
Do not take partial bites off a
utensil; so do not put more food
on your utensil than you can
place in your mouth with one bite.
If food falls off your plate… leave it.

18. As a rule-of-thumb, always use
your utensils outside-in, and
don't be afraid to leave the table
and ask the server if you find an
unusual dining device.
Never leave a spoon in a bowl or a
glass. Always place used flatware or
cutlery parallel to one another across
the plate with the knife blade facing
inward toward you OR on a liner plate if
one is available. If the handles of the
utensils are in the 3 o’clock position, it
means you are not done eating. Handles
in the 4 o’clock position mean you are
done.
You should not season your food before tasting it. If a fellow
diner asks for the salt…always pass the pepper as well. When
passing items such as a basket of rolls, the person closest takes
the service plate/basket, offers it to the person on his left, helps
himself, and passes to the person on his right.
If you spill something on yourself, clean up a spill at the table or excuse
yourself to the restroom if needed. Apologize to anyone inconvenienced.

19. If the salad is served on a separate plate or
bowl, use a salad fork. If it is served as the
main dish or on the same plate with the
entrée…use the dinner fork. You may use a
knife to cut large pieces, a few pieces at a time.
If it is necessary to leave the table for any
reason, excuse yourself. Do excuse
yourself from the table to reapply makeup,
fix your hair, or blow your nose.
A finger bowl may be brought to the table just prior to the
dessert being served. You are not required to use it, and
may just put it aside. If you do choose to use it, simply dip
the fingers into the water and wipe them on your napkin.
Then pick up the bowl and the doily underneath, and move
them to the upper left side of the place setting. This clears
them from the plate area, so dessert can be served.
Men always remove their hats inside a building. They also
rise, at least partially, when a lady excuses herself from the
table (unless it is purely a business dinner).

20. The initial presentation - The waiter shows you the
bottle. Simply make sure it is the wine you ordered; nod
your acceptance.
The cork presentation - Improperly-stored wines (placed
vertically) will allow the cork to dry out, resulting in an air-
breach will cause the wine to turn to vinegar. Look at the
cork, do a quick sniff, and hand it back.
Unless you become a wine
connoisseur, you only need to
know the basic responses when
asked to check a wine.
The sip test - At this point the waiter will place a tasting amount of wine and
step back. Simply swirl the wine in your glass to release its natural aroma
and stick you nose into the glass while inhaling deeply. Next, take a very
small sip, swishing the wine evenly across your tongue. Next, turn to the
waiter, and nod your approval.