Conflict Resolution and Mediation Techniques

1. CONFLICTMEDIATION Tech Prep Presentation to Area High School Teachers Collin County Community College Plano, TX

2. What is Mediation? An attempt by two parties to resolve their differences or dispute. Assisted by a neutral third party. Purpose is to resolve a conflict and create an agreement. Does not replace the judicial system. Mediation proceedings are confidential and private.

3. What is Mediation? A mediator only advises, only suggest. The resolution is up to the two parties using a signed, written agreement. Informal process. No judge or jury, no arbitrator. All parties must agree to the process, usually with a signed mediation agreement.

4. A Conflict Mediation ProgramMediator leads the parties – series of steps Identifying the problem(s). Listening to each other. Recognizing the feelings involved. Hurt, rejected, afraid, angry, arrogant, etc. Developing possible solutions. Taking responsibility for their part in the conflict.

5. Mediation and Trial Comparison Trial assumes guilt and innocence. Mediation assumes no fault. A trial seeks to learn the truth. Mediation seeks to find an equitable solution. A trial deals with facts. Mediation deals with the feelings and perceptions behind the facts. In a trial, a judge makes a decision. In mediation, the disputants make the decisions.

6. Peer Conflict Mediation The two conflicting parties sit with a trained peer and discuss their differences. The peer mediator guides the discussion to help the quarreling students find solutions to their conflict. Once the two parties agree, they each sign a contract that outlines what each will do to solve the problem. All mediation sessions are confidential.

7. Nature of the Conflict?What conflict exists according to them? Is it all expressed? Are there additional points underneath? What’s the “triggering event” for this dispute? How interdependent are the parties? Is ther interference threatened or present? Destructive conflict spiral or a productive one? Do they know each other? How well? Are they locked in a relationship pattern?

8. Positions and Interests? A POSITION is what I want or demand. An INTEREST is the underneath why I want it. Conflicts are most often the result of demands or incompatible positions. Opposing positions often seem irreconcilable. The interests beneath the demands lead the way to resolution, new outcome or option.

9. Positions and Interests Interests related to each other Conflicting Shared Compatible Tips: Don’t assume that interests conflict Don’t assume that parties have conflicting interests. Explore shared and compatible interests. People often lack awareness of their interests.

10. Options and Alternatives OPTIONS are resolutions that parties conceive together. An ALTERNATIVE is a resolution without the other party. To figure out an alternative, ask, “what if I cannot agree to something with the person, what will I do……..?” Choose between a set of options and your best alternative.

11. Mediation Process Stepping into another’s shoes. What are they saying/doing that for? What is their situation? Am I empathetic with this person? If I were in their situation, what would I do to get where I want? What are their needs/wants?

12. Mediation Process Positions Common Mistakes INTERESTS Options Alternatives Commitments

13. Mediation Process Most common errors Jump from positions to options Jump from positions to commitment Mediator’s role is to: Explore interests Help generate options Help consider alternatives Facilitate commitment Maintain confidentiality.

14. Mediation Process Helpful Tips: Everyone wants to be heard (and must be). Affirming interests – not positions – moves the process forward. Empathizing with both – protect your neutrality. Create several options before commit to one. Make sure everyone understands the commitment in the same way. Be sure the commitment is doable.

15. Analyzing Conflict Situations 1. Defensive communication? Happens when they feel threatened. Will attempt to Dominate Impress or Assert that they are correct Characteristics Total lack of listening or understanding Attacking, aggressive, and hostile behavior No conducive to resolution of the problem

16. Analyzing Conflict Situations 2. Hostile communication? Direct verbal assaults A person criticizes, ridicules, or makes fun of the other person. Often a prelude to overt action such as physical violence.

17. Analyzing Conflict Situations 3. Manipulative Communications? Often occurs in conflict situations. Attempts to interpret or reshape the conflict May try to: Misrepresent the facts Draw unfounded conclusions Claim misunderstandings

18. Analyzing Conflict Situations 4. Avoidance May change the subject to avoid confronting a topic that is threatening. May not respond to specific issues. May change the subject to unrelated matters.

19. Analyzing Conflict Situations 5. Evaluative Response? Sniping? Another approach that people may attempt when they discuss conflicts. One person makes a statement, then…… Other person does not respond directly. Other person evaluates or judges it. For example, “that remark is so childish” when asked to respond

20. Conflict Styles Competing: “Hard bargaining” or “might makes right.” Pursuing personal concerns at the expense of the other party. Can mean “standing up for your right,” defending that which you believe is correct. Can mean simply trying to win.

21. Conflict Styles Collaborating: “Negotiating” or “two heads are better than one” Working with someone to…… Explore your disagreement Generate alternatives Finding a solution that mutually satisfies the concerns of both parties.

22. Conflict Styles Compromising: “Splitting the difference” Seeking the middle ground solution that satisfies both parties. The middle ground is not always in the “middle.” It depends upon the number of points.

23. Conflict Styles Accommodating: “Soft bargaining” “Killing your enemy with kindness” Yielding to another person’s point of view Paying attention to their concerns “Neglecting” one’s own concerns

24. Conflict Styles Avoiding: “Leave well enough alone” Not addressing the conflict Withdrawing from the situation Postponing the issue

25. Six Rules for Conflict Mediation 1. Never take sides Never be the decision maker. Never defend one person’s point of view. Only ask questions and make suggestions

26. Six Rules for Conflict Mediation 2. Win-Win Strategy Each person to walk away feeling he or she won in some part. 3. Maintain personal integrity for everyone No one to feel debased or humiliated. No one to feel left out.

27. Six Rules for Conflict Mediation 4. Get conflicts out in the open Don’t let conflicts simmer and flare in the dark. Get them out where can get explanations.

28. Six Rules for Conflict Mediation 5. Be aware of barriers to conflict resolution Defensiveness Put-downs Discounting Judgmental reactions Aggressive attacks Other similar actions

29. Six Rules for Conflict Mediation 6. Do not escalate conflicts by involving more people than is necessary Resolve at the lowest possible level. Resolve between individuals who are directly involved. If two many people, they get concerned with……. Saving face Loyalties Saying things for other’s benefit Remember that mediations are confidential.