A Presentation of a selection of jokes / humor pieces from different nations of the world. Life lessons of benefit can be learn from each of the humor piece. For videos of humor and life lessons, you can check out: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLf1EfHzhEPxuKRVqMWwPvSpPblKVngwDv

1. 1
世界各地幽默的教训

2. 2
‘Now, a recent study from cardiologists at the
University of Maryland, has shown that laughter
may have a beneficial effect on the heart.’
Allen Klein
“现在，马里兰大学心脏病专家最近的一项研究
表明，笑可能对心脏有有益的影响。”
Allen Klein
Humor matters, Laughter does conquer…
one lives happier, healthier and longer.
幽默很重要，笑声确实可
以征服......人们生活得更
快乐、更健康、更长寿。

3. 3
Humor From India
In A Sex Education Class
A teacher asked his teenage students
in a sex education class
the following question to start off his lesson:
“Can anyone give me a good difference
between a Call Girl, A Girlfriend and a Wife”.
The class fell silent for a while. Then
Santokh Singh at the back of the class
raised his hand, stood up and said loudly,
“One is a PREPAID, the second is a
POSTPAID and the last one is “UNLIMITED”.
There are students who, although
cheeky, are smart, creative and witty.
They have to be handled wisely so that
their potential can be developed.
在性教育课上
一位老师在性教育课上问他的十
几岁的学生以下问题来开始他的
课程： “谁能告诉我应召女郎、
女朋友和妻子之间的区别吗？”班
级里一时间陷入了沉默。 然后班
级最后面的桑托克·辛格举起手，
站起来大声说道：“一个是预付
费，第二个是后付费，最后一个
是“无限”。
有些学生虽然厚脸皮，但很聪
明、有创造力、机智。 必须明
智地对待他们，以便开发他们
的潜力。
来自印度的幽默

4. 4
Humor From America
‘Going for a Lecture’
After boozing away at a bar for almost 4 hours,
Dennis was somewhat tipsy and was in no
position to drive home. He decided to leave his
car at the car park and walk home.
After walking unsteadily along for about 15
minutes, he was stopped by a policeman.
“What in the world are you doing out here at
2 am?” the police officer asked.
“I am going to a lecture,” Dennis replied.
“Absurd! Who is going to give a lecture at this
hour?” the officer asked.
“My wife!” Dennis said.
Husbands who booze are likely to
have problems and conflicts with
their wives. Beware of the danger of
drinking.
‘去听讲座’
在酒吧喝了近四个小时后，丹尼
斯有点醉了，无法开车回家。
他决定把车停在停车场，然后步
行回家。 他摇摇晃晃地走了大
约15分钟后，被一名警察拦住。
“你到底在这儿做什么？凌晨两
点？” 警官问道。 “我要去听讲
座，”丹尼斯回答道。 “荒诞！
这个时间谁来演讲？” 军官问
道。 “我的妻子！” 丹尼斯说。
酗酒的丈夫很可能会与妻子产生问题
和冲突。 谨防饮酒的危险。
来自美国的幽默

5. 5
humor From china
Stains on Underwear
A man in China sent his pants and
underwear to a laundry but when they came
back, the man was angry that there were still
stains on his underwear. So the following
week he attached a note saying
“Use more soap on the underwear”.
The following day when he picked up his
washed laundry there was a note on it.
It read:
“Use more paper when doing your big
business in the toilet.”
In solving any problem between a manager
of a business and a customer, the use of
polite and diplomatic language is very
important. Insults and sarcasm would bring
more problems.
内衣上的污渍
中国一名男子把他的裤子和内裤送
到洗衣店，但当他们回来时，该男
子很生气，因为他的内裤上仍然有
污渍。 因此，接下来的一周，他附
上了一张纸条，上面写着“在内裤
上多用肥皂”。 第二天，当他拿起
洗好的衣服时，上面有一张纸条。
上面写着： “在厕所里做大事时要
多用纸。”
在解决企业经理和客户之间的任
何问题时，使用礼貌和外交语言
非常重要。 侮辱和讽刺会带来更
多问题。
来自中国的幽默

6. 6
humor From australia
Vegetative State
Sam and his wife Agatha were in the living
room. Sam, who was lying on a reclining
chair told his wife, “I would like you to
know that I never want to live a life in a
vegetative state, lying down like dead,
dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle.
His wife got up from her chair, went near
the TV set, unplugged it and threw away all
the bottles of beer Sam had stored.
There are people who live a very lazy
and sluggish life and may not be aware
of it. It is time they become more active
and constructive in doing things.
植物人状态
萨姆和他的妻子阿加莎在客厅里。
躺在躺椅上的萨姆告诉他的妻子：
“我想让你知道，我永远不想过植
物人的生活，像死人一样躺着，依
赖于某些机器和瓶子里的液体。他
的妻子从椅子上站起来，走到电视
机旁边，拔掉插头，扔掉了萨姆储
存的所有啤酒瓶。
有些人过着非常懒惰和迟缓的生
活，但他们可能没有意识到这一
点。 现在是他们在做事时变得更
加积极和富有建设性的时候了。
来自澳大利亚的幽默

7. 7
Humor From malaysia
Arrogant Politician
An arrogant politician dressed pompously, once
visited the psychiatric ward in a hospital.
All except one patient stood up and cheered, “Big
Shot! Big Shot!”. They clapped very loudly for the
politician who felt an air of great importance.
Then the politician noticed the patient sitting at the
corner of the ward who ignored him.
“What’s the matter with him?” he asked the
psychiatrist on duty. “Why isn’t him giving me a
warm welcome like the others?”
“Oh!” the psychiatrist replied. “He has recovered
from his psychiatric condition
and will be discharged today.”
Ignorant and foolish people can get
jealous or angry over something that does
not have any bad or immoral intention.
Calm and mindful investigation is wise.
来自马来西亚的幽默
傲慢的政治家
一位衣着浮夸的傲慢政客，曾经参
观过医院的精神科病房。除了一名
病人外，所有人都站起来欢呼：“大
佬！ 大人物！”。 他们为那位感到
举足轻重的政治家大声鼓掌。然后
这位政客注意到坐在病房角落的病
人不理他。“他怎么了？” 他询问值
班的精神科医生。 “他为什么不像其
他人一样热烈欢迎我呢？”“哦！” 精
神科医生回答道。 “他的精神状况已
经康复，将于今天出院。”
无知和愚蠢的人可能会对一些没
有任何恶意或不道德意图的事情
感到嫉妒或愤怒。 冷静和谨慎的
调查是明智的。

8. 8
Humor From canada
Too Hot…
One day as Jordan, a rich, middle-aged
man with an awful-looking pot belly,
stepped out of the shower, he said to his
beautiful wife, Alice, “Darling, it’s just
too hot to wear clothes today. What do
you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn
wearing my birthday suit?”
“Don’t you try that, Jordan,”
the wife replied.
“The neighbors would think I married
you for your money!”
We do have cases when a woman
marries a man for reasons other than
love. The reasons include money, status
and power. Such a marriage may not last.
太热…
有一天，乔丹，一个大腹便便的富
有中年男人，从淋浴间出来，对他
美丽的妻子爱丽丝说：“亲爱的，
今天穿衣服太热了。 如果我穿着生
日套装去割草坪，你认为邻居会怎
么想？” “乔丹，你别试试这个，”妻
子回答道。“邻居们会认为我嫁给
你是为了你的钱！”
我们确实有这样的例子：女人因
为爱情以外的原因嫁给男人。 原
因包括金钱、地位和权力。 这样
的婚姻可能不会长久。
来自加拿大的幽默

9. 9
humor From africa
A WhatsApp Chat
A chat conversation took place between Chika
and his girlfriend Alala on Whatsapp:
Alala: Hey there!
Chika: Hey!
Alala: Hope you are fine.
Chika: Yeah! Busy though.
Alala: I have been thinking. Ever since you
slept with me, you don’t call any more and you
have not text or given me any present.
Why? Why?
Chika: Have you ever seen a politician still
campaigning after winning the election?
There are people who take advantage
of or exploit another person. Once they
get what they want they do not care
about the other person anymore.
WhatsApp 聊天
Chika 和他的女朋友 Alala 在
Whatsapp 上进行了聊天： Alala：
嘿！ 千卡：喂！ 阿拉拉：希望你一
切都好。 千卡：是啊！ 虽然很忙。
阿拉拉：我一直在想。 自从你和我
睡了之后，你就没有再给我打电
话，也没有给我发过短信，也没有
送过任何礼物。 为什么？ 为什么？
Chika：你见过政治家赢得选举后还
在竞选吗？
有些人利用或剥削他人。 一旦他
们得到了他们想要的东西，他们
就不再关心别人了.
来自非洲的幽默

10. 10
Humor From england
Smart Kindergarten Kid
It was Parents’ Day at the kindergarten. The teacher told
Mr. and Mrs. Flinders that their little boy Billy was very
smart. You’ll know what I mean when you hear his
answers to some of my questions.
Teacher: Billy, What are three things we never eat
before breakfast?
Billy: Lunch, dinner and supper.
Teacher: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what
will it become?
Billy: Wet!
Teacher: If I gave you two cats, then two more, and
another two more, how many would you have, Billy?
Billy: Seven!
Teacher: Are you sure, Billy?
Billy: Yes Teacher! You see, I have already
one cat at home!
There are young kids who are very smart and
intelligent. Experienced and good teachers would
know how to educate such children.
来自英国的幽默
聪明的幼儿园小朋友
那天是幼儿园的双亲节。 老师告诉
弗林德斯夫妇，他们的小男孩比利非
常聪明。 当你听到他对我的一些问
题的回答时，你就会明白我的意思。
老师：比利，早餐前我们不吃的三样
东西是什么？比利：午餐、晚餐和夜
宵。老师：如果把一顶白帽子扔进
Red Sea，它会变成什么？比利：湿
了！老师：如果我给你两只猫，然后
再两只，再两只，你会拥有多少只，
比利？比利：七！老师：比利，你确
定吗？比利：是的，老师！ 你看，
我家里已经养了一只猫了
有一些非常聪明和聪明的小
孩子。 有经验的好老师会知
道如何教育这样的孩子。

11. 11
Humor From japan
The Japanese Mugger
An American tourist was confronted by a
mugger in Tokyo. The mugger threatened
the American with a Samurai sword. With a
scowling face, he screamed at the
American’s face, “Give me all your money
or else….”
“Or else what?” the cool American asked.
The mugger, feeling somewhat confused
whispered, “Or else I will kill myself
in a Hara Kiri!”
When a person mind is filled with
anxiety, fear and panic, he can
lose his thinking ability. He can
then utter foolish words or do
stupid actions.
日本抢劫犯
一名美国游客在东京遭遇抢劫犯。 抢
劫犯用武士刀威胁美国人。 他板着
脸，对着美国人的脸尖叫：“把你所
有的钱都给我，否则……” “不然呢？”
那个冷静的美国人问道。劫匪有些疑
惑，低声道：“不然我就自杀了！”
来自日本的幽默
当一个人的心灵充满焦虑、恐惧
和恐慌时，他就会失去思考能
力。 然后他就会说出愚蠢的话或
做出愚蠢的行为。

12. 12
humor From germany
The Report Card
One evening, a German father confronted
his son Franz, an 8-year old kid.
Father: Franz, where is your school
report card? You haven’t shown it to me yet.
Franz: I don’t have it Daddy.
Father: What do you mean? Are you lying?
Franz: No Daddy. My friend Josef
borrowed it.
Father: Why does Josef want your report card?
Franz: He wants to scare his parents.
It needs good Dhamma practice and
parenting skills to handle some children
who can be trying – they can lie, cheat
and show undesirable behavior.
成绩单
一天晚上，一位德国父亲与他 8 岁的
儿子弗朗茨对质。父亲：弗兰兹，你
的成绩单在哪里？ 你还没给我看
呢。 弗兰兹：爸爸，我没有。 父
亲：你什么意思？ 你在骗我吗？ 弗
朗兹：没有，爸爸。 我的朋友约瑟
夫借了它。 父亲：约瑟夫为什么要
你的成绩单？ 弗兰茨：他想吓唬他
的父母。
来自德国的幽默
处理一些可能有问题的孩子需要
良好的佛法修行和养育技巧——
他们可能撒谎、欺骗和表现出不
良行为。

13. 13
humor From ireland
Irish Whiskey
Two Irish friends, Callahan and Donovan were
drinking together at Callahan’s home.
After they had taken a few glasses of beer,
Callahan went to the cellar and took out a bottle
of old Irish whiskey. He then said to his friend
Donovan, “If I were to go and meet my Creator
first, will you pour this bottle of special Irish
whiskey out onto my grave?”
Donovan replied, “Do you mind if I pass the
whiskey through my kidneys first?”
It is wise not to take up
the habit of drinking.
Once a person gets addicted ,
it is very difficult to break the addiction.
It will cause much Dukkha.
来自爱尔兰的幽默
爱尔兰威士忌
卡拉汉和多诺万这两个爱尔兰朋
友在卡拉汉家里一起喝酒。他们
喝了几杯啤酒后，卡拉汉去地窖
拿出了一瓶陈年爱尔兰威士忌。
然后他对他的朋友多诺万说：“如
果我先去见我的造物主，你会把
这瓶特殊的爱尔兰威士忌倒到我
的坟墓上吗？”多诺万回答说：
“你介意我先让威士忌通过我的肾
脏吗？”
明智的做法是不要养成喝酒的习
惯。 人一旦上瘾，就很难戒掉。
会造成很多苦.

14. 14
Humor From mexico
Tough Husband?
A big-sized and tough Mexican man married a pretty
Mexican woman. After the wedding, he laid down the
following rules for his wife: “I’ll be home when I want and
if I want; I also choose the time to be home. Don’t nag me
over this. You have to prepare a scrumptious dinner
ready unless I tell you otherwise. I’ll go fishing, hunting ,
boozing and gambling with my buddies when I so desire
and don’t you make a fuss of it.”
“These are my rules,” the husband said sternly.
“Anything you want to say?”
His lovely wife said, “No, that’s fine with me. I just want
you to know that there’ll be sex here at nine o’clock every
night – whether you are here or not.”
A person who is demanding and very
unreasonable in his ways sometimes
needs to be taught a lesson to make him
realize his bad behavior.
来自墨西哥的幽默
老公强硬？
一个身材高大、性格坚韧的墨西哥男
人娶了一个漂亮的墨西哥女人。 婚礼
结束后，他为妻子制定了以下规则：
“我想什么时候回家就什么时候回家；
只要我愿意，我就回家； 我也选择回
家的时间。 别再为这事跟我唠叨了。
除非我另有说明，否则你必须准备一
顿美味的晚餐。 只要我愿意，我就会
和我的伙伴们一起去钓鱼、打猎、喝
酒、赌博，别大惊小怪。” “这是我的
规矩。”丈夫严厉地说。 “你有什么想
说的吗？”他可爱的妻子说：“不，我
没意见。 我只是想让你知道，这里每
晚九点都会发生性行为——无论你是
否在这里。”
一个要求很高、非常不讲道理的
人，有时需要给他一个教训，让
他认识到自己的不良行为。

15. 15
“May you Laugh your way
to good Health.
May Wisdom be your
greatest Wealth!”
“祝您笑口常开，
身体健康。
愿智慧成为你最
大的财富！”
The End
结束
With
Metta,
Bro.
Oh
Teik
Bin