2. Types of Good-News Messages
• Positive news messages
• Thank you and appreciation
messages
• Apologies
• Routine claims
• Routine requests
• Order acknowledgments
• Credit information messages
• Messages extending credit
3. How can employees build lasting
relationships with customers
or clients?
1. Thank them regularly for their
business
2. Offer them discounts if they order
every month or every quarter
3. Provide small “gift with purchase”
over a certain amount
4. Making the Most of
Appreciation Messages
• Say “thank you” in a timely manner
• Avoid exaggerated language that
is not believable
• Make specific comments for what
you are thankful
5. Examples of Good News Messages
Thank-you messages
Congratulatory messages
Recommendation
messages
Inquiries and replies
Requests and responses
Orders and acknowledgments
Routine claims and
adjustments
6. The CBO Approach: A 3 x 4 Plan
Plan a message.
Compose a draft.
Complete a message.
7. Plan a Message
Identify the objective.
Visualize the audience.
Gather supporting information.
Organize the information.
10. Good news and neutral news messages
follow the good news strategy.
State the good or neutral news.
Provide adequate details or descriptions.
End pleasantly.
11. Thank-You Messages
Begin with good news.
Offer extra details.
End with emphasis on the receiver.
Thank-you messages maintain friendships and build
goodwill.
12. Congratulatory Messages
Begin by offering congratulations.
Provide extra details reflecting your sincerity.
End with emphasis on the receiver.
Congratulatory messages create positive impressions and
build goodwill.
13. Recommendation Messages
Identify the candidate and the job or benefit sought.
Provide facts relevant to the position or benefit
sought.
Close with an offer of further information.
Recommendation messages provide accurate
performance documentation.
14. Inquiries and Replies
Inquiry messages ask the receiver for information.
Begin with a specific question or direct statement.
Include adequate details and additional questions.
End with clear directions for the receiver.
15. Inquiries and Replies
Reply messages answer inquiry messages.
State the good news by answering questions and
emphasizing the you attitude.
Include any additional pertinent information.
End with a goodwill statement.
16. Requests and Responses
Request messages ask for information, approval,
permission, cooperation, or assistance.
State the major request in the first sentence or
subject line.
Make the request clear with additional details.
End courteously and close with an action request.
17. Requests and Responses
Response messages provide opportunities to establish
goodwill and promote business.
State the good news first by answering the request.
Include additional pertinent information.
End with a goodwill statement and an action request.
18. Order messages ask for goods or services.
Orders and Acknowledgments
Use direct language.
Give complete details.
Include payment information and shipping
instructions, and indicate the desired delivery date.
19. Orders and Acknowledgments
Indicate product was sent or service approved. State
when receipt of merchandise or service is expected.
Describe quality features of the product or service.
Encourage future orders.
Acknowledgments provide information on the delivery
status and encourage future orders.
20. Routine Claims and Adjustments
Begin with specific problem statement and request an
adjustment.
Give a complete and concise description of claim,
including all essential facts.
End courteously with a suggestion for prompt action.
Claims provide information about unsatisfactory goods or
services.
21. Routine Claims and Adjustments
Grant the request in a subject line and/or in the first
sentence.
Provide the necessary details about the adjustment.
End with a cordial, open invitation for future business.
Adjustments explain how and when a routine claim will
be resolved positively.
23. CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD LETTERS
i) Clear content
Short sentences and paragraphs
Separate ideas or unity of paragraphs
Transitional expressions
Familiar words
Active voice verbs
ii) A tone of goodwill
Goodwill is a positive feeling the reader has toward an individual or an
organization.
Analyze your audience
Emphasize “you” view
Show reader benefit
Avoid discriminatory words
Emphasize positive ideas
25. DIRECT PATTERN FOR ROUTINE LETTERS
Routine letters communicate straight forward requests, replies and
Goodwill messages
Routine letters to outsiders encourage product feedback, project a
favorable company image and promote future business.
DIRECT REQUEST LETTERS
Requesting information and action
A direct letter may open with a question or a polite request
Will you please answer the following questions about your payroll service?
26. Questions in a direct letter should be parallel (Balanced grammatically)
What computer lock-down device can you recommend?
Direct request letters maintain a courteous tone, spell out what needs to be
done, and focus on reader benefits
Appropriate closings:
Thanks for returning the questionnaire before May 5, when we will begin
tabulation
We are grateful for the information you will provide because it will help us serve
you better
I appreciate for this information that will enable me to ………
Here’s my email address so that you can reach me quickly.
27. REQUESTS AND RESPONSES
You expect the readers responses to be positive or neutral so you don’t need special
techniques to convince, to soften bad news or to be tactful.
Organize your message into the following three parts:
Opening: A statement that announces the purpose immediately
Body: Details that explain the purpose
Closing: A request for action or a courteous conclusion
28. Indirect Opening Direct Opening
Our company is
experiencing difficulties in
retaining employees.
We also need help in
screening job applicants.
Our current testing
program is unsatisfactory. I
understand that you offer
employees testing
materials , and I have a
number of questions to
ask.
Please answer the
following questions about
your personnel testing
material
29. PLACING ORDERS
These letters order supplies, merchandise or services
In the opening, let the reader know immediately that this is a purchase authorization
and not nearly an information inquiry
In the body supply the following information :
Order number
Specification or particulars of items or services
Complete descriptions
Quantities
Prices - Unit price or total price
Payment method
30. Sample opening:
Please send me by UPS the following items from your fall merchandise catalog
In the closing, discuss payment mode- enclose the cheque, provide the credit card
number or ask to be billed.
Mention date and express appreciation
31. CLAIM LETTERS
In business many things may go wrong- promised shipment are late, warranted goods
fail or service is disappointing
As a customer you must try to identify or correct a wrong, the letter is called a claim
Claim letters open with a clear problem statement, support the claim with specifics and
close with a statement of goodwill.
Please send us 24 Royal hot-air popcorn poppers to replace the 24 hot-oil poppers sent
in error with our order shipped January 4
In the body explain the problem and justify your request.
Do not adopt an angry tone
32. When an alternative remedy exists, spell it out
If you are unable to send 24 Royal hot-air popcorn poppers immediately please credit
our account now and notify us when they become available
Conclude a claim letter with a courteous statement that promotes goodwill and
expresses a desire for continued relation. If appropriate, include an end date.
We realize that mistakes in ordering and shipping sometimes occur. Because we have
enjoyed your prompt service in the past, we hope that you will be able to send us the
hot-air poppers by January 15
33. GRANTING CLAIMS AND MAKING ADJUSTMENTS
Adjustment letters:
Replace merchandize
Refund money
Extend discount
Send coupons and repair goods
Are written for the following reasons:
Legal constraints
Customer satisfaction
Future business
Company goodwill
34. The message plan:
Body
Closing
Opening
Directness for Routine Inquiries
• Begin directly with the objective.
– Either ask a specific question or
– make a general request for the
information.
• Include any necessary explanation--
wherever it fits (as a separate part of the
message or worked in with the
questions).
• If a number of questions are involved,
give them structure.
– May number them.
– Make them stand out.
• End with goodwill words--something
appropriate that fits the one case.
35. Dear Mr. Crifasi:
Will you please help us to serve you better by answering the following
questions.
When you returned merchandise at our store recently:
1. Were you served promptly and courteously?
2. Was the adjustment satisfactory and in accordance with your wishes?
3. Did the salesperson offer to assist you in selecting other merchandise?
Please write your answers--and any other comments you may wish to make
about the service of this store and any other Hobson store--on this letter.
Then return it in the enclosed stamped and addressed envelope.
We shall be most grateful for your help.
Sincerely,
Routine Inquiry--Good Example
36. Dear Ms. Brown:
Will you please send me an itemized statement covering my account for January.
According to my invoice file, the amount owed should be $2,374.27. Your statement shows
$2,833.74 owed. Perhaps you did not record the $427.17 of merchandise returned on
invoice no. 3211C late last week. But even this possible error does not explain all of the
difference.
I shall appreciate your usual promptness in clearing up this matter.
Jane Adami, President
Two Sisters Antiques
Itemized statement for January
Itemized …
Date: Tue, 17 Nov 2005 09:11:15 –0800(PST)
From: Jadami1@aol.com
To: Sarah Brown <Sarah_Brown@trevorhardware.com>
Subject: Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2
[Jane Adami, 11:17 AM 11/17/2005 –0800, Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2]
37. Inquiries About People
• They are a special form
of routine inquiry.
• They involve two
differences:
–Need to respect human
rights
–Need to structure around the
one job
38. • Begin directly--with a general
question seeking
information, or with a specific
question.
• Explain the situation.
Cover the questions
systematically, including
explanations, as needed.
Body
Closing
Opening
Thus the plan for this message
becomes the following:
39. Dear Mr. Bateman:
Will you please assist me in evaluating Ms. Alice Barron for work as a district sales manager
with us. In her application Ms. Barron indicated that she worked for you as a salesperson
from early 2001 to 2005. She has authorized this inquiry.
The work for which we are considering Ms. Barron involves supervision a staff of four
salespeople plus an office staff of two. While with you, did Ms. Barron show the leadership
ability such an assignment requires?
As a manger, Ms. Barron would need to know administration. She would be responsible for
running the business end of an office. Do you feel she has the necessary knowledge and
ability?
Ms. Barron would also be responsible for managing the sales efforts in her district--activities
like setting quotas, working out itineraries, evaluating performance, and coordinating and
DougBateman@yahoo.com
JanetBaker@travelcenter.com
Recommendation for Alice Barron
6-
40. Both Ms. Barron and I will appreciate your candid replies to these questions, plus any other
information you feel we should have. Of course, I will hold your comments in strict
confidence.
Janet Baker, Manager
Human Resources Department
Ms. Barron would also be responsible for managing the sales efforts in her district--activities
like setting quotas, working out itineraries, evaluating performance, and coordinating and
stimulating sales efforts. Does she have the ability to do these things?
In addition to the managerial duties, Ms. Barron would spend some time selling Kopy Kat
equipment. This is hard selling--and it requires an aggressive, personable, hardworking
person. Does Ms. Barron meet this requirement?
DougBateman@yahoo.com
JanetBaker@travelcenter.com
Recommendation for Alice Barron
41. Preliminary Considerations in
Writing a Favorable Response
• You are complying with the
reader’s request.
• The news is good.
• Thus, directness is justified.
42. The message plan:
Directness for a
Favorable Response
• Begin with the answer or state you are
complying with the request.
• Identify the message being answered--
incidentally in the beginning or in a subject
line.
• Continue to give what is wanted in an
orderly arrangement.
• If negative information is involved, give it
proper emphasis. Consider including extras.
• End with friendly, adapted words.
Body
Closing
Opening
43. Dear Sir:
We are in receipt of your favor of April 12 in which you
request that we furnish you a copy of our current Baton
Rouge directory with certain notations and emendations. In
reply I wish to assure you that we are very much interested in
your proposed online directory of Louisiana manufacturers
and believe it is a project which should be supported by
Louisiana industry in every possible way.
In order to ascertain whether or not a particular manufacturer
listed in our directory is a producer or is only the sales agent
for goods manufactured outside the State, it will be obviously
necessary for us to put a responsible and capable clerk on
the
Indirect Approach and Grudging
Tone Produce Negative Effect (1 of 2)
44. assignment to contact by telephone each manufacturer
listed and to request information direct as to his
classification and the nature of his operations. We are quite
willing to do this, despite our own manpower shortage, in
order to further your project, and in fact we have already
selected the man and assigned his duties to him. He will
start to work at an early date, and we will notify you in due
course as to his progress.
Assuming you of our continued interest, and trusting that
you will not hesitate to call on us in the future at any time we
may be of service to you in any way, we are
Sincerely,
Indirect Approach and Grudging
Tone Produce Negative Effect (2 of 2)
45. Jandrews@mclaughlinbody.com
Lisa.Miller@beeline.com
Manufacturers’ Directory Assistance
Mr. Andrews:
Yes, sir, we’ll gladly help with your manufacturers’ directory, just as you have asked in your
April 12 message.
To get the names and classifications up to the “directory” exactness, Mr. Stanley
McLaughlin, of our own directory staff, has already started a by-name check of each listed
industry. He will label carefully the exact goods produced or processed; and he will mark
the sales agents as such. You can expect his report by the 20th, I’m sure.
Your completed online directory will certainly help Louisiana industry get a measure of itself
and will help to “sell” Louisiana as a ripe field for many types of new enterprises. It’s a fine
job you are taking on. We’ll be glad to see the finished product.
Lisa Brown
47. The message plan:
Directness for a
Personnel Evaluation
• Begin directly by
–saying that you are complying.
–answering a question.
• Refer to the inquiry either
incidentally or in a subject line.
• Report fairly and accurately
–arranging the information
Body
Closing
Opening
48. Date: Tue, 9 Apr 2005 09:11:15 –0600(PST)
From: Chris Woods<cwoods@centralgrocery.com>
To: jvillas@yahoo.com
Subject: Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2
Mr. Villas:
From December 2002 through February 2005, Ms. Commons worked for Central Grocery,
Inc., under my direction. She left us for employment in her hometown. We would welcome
her back. While she was with us, she served first as a stock clerk, later as a checkout
cashier, and for the last year as my assistant. During this time she learned all aspects of
the grocery business. In my judgment, she has the experience and knowledge needed for
the job she seeks.
Confidential …
Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2
I feel, also, that Ms. Commons has the personal qualities the job requires. She is mature,
stable, and personable. She has strong convictions and expresses them firmly--
sometimes at the expense of harmony within the work group. But she is also sincere and
open-minded. As far as I know, her morals are exemplary.
[Chris Woods, 09:11 AM 4/9/2005 –0800, Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2]
49. In summary, I feel that Ms. Commons is well qualified for the work she seeks. I would not
hesitate to put her in a similar position in this company.
If I can help you further in your evaluation Ms. Commons, please write me again.
Christopher Woods, Manager
Human Resources
Central Grocery
Confidential …
Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2
Answering your question about Ms. Commons’ leadership ability is somewhat difficult for
her work with us was primarily in a subordinate position. But from what I have observed, I
feel that she has good leadership potential. She appears to like people and to have a
genuine concern for them. And she appears to have other characteristics of good
leadership--a sense of fairness, good communication ability, loyalty, and dedication to work.
[Chris Woods, 09:11 AM 4/9/2005 –0800, Confidential report on Ms. Cindy Commons, requested July 2]
50. Preliminary Considerations in
Writing an Adjustment Grant (1 of 2)
• The news is good.
• Something bad has happened,
and you are correcting it.
• But even though the main
message is good news, you
have the need to regain lost
confidence.
51. The message plan:
Directness for an
Adjustment Grant
• Begin directly--with the good news.
• Incidentally identify the message you
are answering.
• Avoid negatives that recall the situation
being corrected.
• Regain lost confidence through
explanation or corrective action.
• End with friendly positive words.
Body
Closing
Opening
52. Mr. McShane:
Crediting your account for $321.40 is Consort’s way of assuring you that your satisfaction
is very important to us.
Because we sincerely want to please, we thoroughly examined the suit you returned to
us. Our investigation showed that the likely cause of the fading was accidental contact
with some form of chemical. We couldn’t determine precisely what the chemical was
or just how contact was made. But we suspect a liquid spill sometime after packaging,
either in our warehouse or during shipment. Such unexpected happenings will occur
in spite of our best precautions. Anyway, we were relieved to know that Consort’s
reputation for quality fabrics and craftsmanship remains good.
We want you to know that we sincerely desire to serve you. And we look forward to
serving you with high-quality Consort suits in the years ahead.
Albert T. Hamm, Manager
Consumer Relations
Full credit for suit from Consort
[Albert T. Hamm, 07:12 PM 6/20/2005 –0800, Full credit for suit from Consort]
Full credit from…
53. Preliminary Considerations in
Writing an Order Acknowledgment
• You have received an order.
• Now you must report the
status of the order.
• The situation is good news--
routine in business.
• Thus, directness is justified.
54. The message plan:
Directness for an Order
Acknowledgment
• Give the status of order.
• Include some goodwill—
acknowledging incidentally, reselling,
sales talk, or such.
• Include a “thank you.”
• If there is a problem (vague order,
back order)--
– Some businesses report frankly,
assuming some problems are
Body
Closing
Opening
55. Trevor Hardware…
Mr. Cotton:
By the time you receive this letter, you should have received the assorted pipe you ordered
July 15. As you requested we shipped it by Zephyr Freight, and we will bill you on the first.
As you may know, the J-4 Kotter Pipe Joint Clamps have been a very popular item
recently. We have marked these clamps for rush shipment to you just as soon as our
supplies are replenished. Our plant foreman tells me that his people are working overtime
to catch up. He promises that we will have the clamps on the way to you no later than
August 12.
Thank you for giving us another opportunity to serve you with quality Kotter products.
Krystal Benko
Office Manager
[Krystal Benko, 03:17 PM 8/3/2005 –0800, Trevor Hardware Order Confirmation]
Trevor Hardware Order Confirmation
57. Preliminary Considerations in
Writing
a Claim Letter
• A product or service has given you a
problem.
–You are in the right.
–Probably the offending company will
want to correct the matter.
–You want to make a strong claim.
• These three facts of the case
support directness.
58. The message plan:
Directness for
a Claim Letter
• Begin directly. Tell what is wrong.
• Include all necessary facts in the text
or in a subject line.
• Explain the facts—enough to permit a
decision.
• Seek corrective action, either by
– stating what you want, or
– letting the reader decide what to do.
• End positively—on a friendly but firm
note.
Body
Closing
Opening
59. Ms. Ott:
From your invoice of August 7, I see that you have sent my gifts C.O.D. I need your
friendly help in restoring face.
Wrong billing of shipment under Invoice X13771
Please correct this embarrassing error right away. I ask that you write each of the
recipients of my gifts, refunding their money and explaining what happened. Then send
copies of your letters and the total bill to me.
You have my grateful thanks for putting me back in the good graces of the Bannisters.
Helen Toohey
Please refer to my original order of July 31 (copy attached) to see that the Madam Butterfly
jewel box for Ms. Mary Ellen Bannister and the Piper smoking jacket for Mr. Collis
Bannister were clearly specified for prepaid shipment. You were to include the bill for these
items in the C.O.D. shipment of the Black Diamond desk sent to me.
ORDER731.DOC
[Helen Toohey, 09:17 AM 9/17/2005 –0800, Wrong billing of shipment under Invoice X13771]
