This presentation will reveal what truly motivates people and the real reasons why conflict happens, both in the workplace and our personal life. Behavior is driven by motivation; motivation is something that is hard-wired into every human being. So the questions remain: What motivates people and how do I recognize this in my stakeholders? How do I leverage this so that I can achieve maximum productivity from our time spent developing requirements?

1. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 1Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved.
Thank you for joining us today.
This webinar is brought to you by IIL a global leader in:
Project, Program and Portfolio Management
Microsoft® Project and Project Server
Lean Six Sigma | Business Analysis
PRINCE2® | ITIL®
Leadership and Interpersonal Skills
The Scorpion and the Frog
Sink Or Swim – Stakeholder Management To Keep You Afloat

2. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 2Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Global IIL Companies
IIL US
IIL Asia (Singapore)
IIL Australia
IIL Brasil
IIL Canada
IIL China
IIL Europe (United Kingdom)
IIL Finland
IIL France
IIL Germany
IIL Hong Kong
IIL Hungary
IIL India
IIL Japan
IIL Korea (Seoul)
IIL México
IIL Middle East (Dubai)
IIL Spain

3. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 3Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
When Will We Ever Learn?
The Scorpion and the Frog
A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks
the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you
won't sting me?"
The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too.”
The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings
the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they
both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp
"Why?"
Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

4. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 4Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
From One Side to the Other
1 2 3
Build a Boat
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
All Hands on Deck

5. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 5Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
1 2 3
Build a Boat
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
All Hands on Deck

6. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 6Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
2. Conscious
Competent
3. Conscious
Competent
4. Unconscious
Competent
1. Unconscious
Incompetent
Teaching Old Frogs New Tricks
I don’t know
what I don’t know
I know
what I need to change
I need to practice
the skills I’ve learnt
I have new habits
to deliver results

7. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 7Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Sender receiver
understand
themselves and
each other and
produce results
Sender and
receiver
understand
each other and
produce results
Sender and
receiver of
communication
understand
each other
“It’s what I do”

8. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 8Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Enough money
Good benefits
Job satisfaction
Enjoyment of work
Advancement
opportunities
Good life balance
Good relationships
Making a contribution
Financial health
Employee
development,
retention, and turnover
Customer satisfaction
High performance or
productivity
Making a contribution
Being the industry or
market leader
What the Frog Wants…What the Scorpion
Wants…

9. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 9Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
From One Side to the Other
1 2 3
Build a Boat
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
All Hands on Deck

10. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 10Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Be Aware of the Undercurrent
• Unwillingness to be
vulnerable with one
another
Absence of
Trust
• Inability to address
the real issues,
• Lack of passionate
debate
Fear of Conflict
• Without conflict
commitment to
action will never
manifest itself to
positive results
Lack of
Commitment
• No clear plan of
action to question
the shortcomings
of our team
members
Avoidance Of
Accountability
• Putting our needs
ahead of collective
needs of others
Inattention To
Results

11. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 11Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Two way traffic…
Me You
Empathy
Trust
Filters
Memory
Style
What is said
How it is said

12. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 12Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Empathy – the key to trust
attention
A
with
W appreciation
A
reflection
R
emotion
E

13. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 13Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Our value system is an affirmation of self worth
When our self worth is compromised we engage in conflict
either with ourselves or with others
Our behaviour is an expression of our desire to be accepted
and connected
Behaviour is a choice
Values & Behaviour

14. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 14Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
A state of internal tension that results from an inconsistency
between any knowledge , belief, opinion, attitude or feeling
about the environment, oneself of one’s behavior. It is
psychologically uncomfortable.
Cognitive- being reduced to factual knowledge; act or process
of knowing including both awareness and judgment.
Dissonance- lack of agreement, inconsistency between one’s
actions and one’s belief
You’re not mad – your “cognitively
dissonant!”

15. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 15Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
When Our Strengths Become Our Weakness
Strength If Overdone
Trusting Gullible
Loyal Blind
Helpful Smothering
Modest Self-effacing
Devoted Subservient
Caring Submissive
Supporting Self-sacrificing
Strength If Overdone
Self-Confident Arrogant
Ambitious Ruthless
Persuasive Abrasive
Forceful Dictatorial
Quick to act Rash
Competitive Combative
Risk taker Gambler
Strength If Overdone
Cautious Suspicious
Reserved Cold
Methodological Rigid
Analytical Nit Picking
Principled Unbending
Fair Unfeeling
Preserving Stubborn
Strength If Overdone
Flexible Wishy washy
Open to
change
Inconsistent
Socializer Unable to stand alone
Experimenter Aimless
Adaptable Spineless
Tolerant Uncaring
Looks for
options
Lack of focus
Altruistic - Nurturing Assertive - Directing Analytic - Autotomizing Flexible- Cohering

16. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 16Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Stage 1
We work together
to solve a problem
Stage 2
I work on the
problem
Stage 3
It’s all about me
1 2 3 There Is A Conflict With You And Me

17. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 17Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Understand Me, Understand You

18. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 18Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
 Future conversations are more difficult
 Costs increase
 Problems manifest
 Risks increase
WITHOUT Awareness…

19. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 19Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
From One Side to the Other
1 2 3
Build a Boat
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
All Hands on Deck

20. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 20Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
effective
questioning
active
listening
dialoguing
watch for
non-verbal
queues
setting
ground
rules
facilitating
The Boat to Get Us There

21. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 21Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Great Conversation Requires Great Effort
inquiry &
reflection
listening &
observing
exception
or rule?
suspension
of
judgement

22. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 22Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Solving consistent, persistent
problems by having one
effective conversation at a
time.
Fierce is not brutal.
Fierce is robust, intense,
strong, powerful, passionate,
eager, unbridled, & authentic.
You must read this…often

23. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 23Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Interrogate Reality
Provoke
Learning
Tackle Tough Challenges
Enrich
Relationships
The Short Version of the Book…

24. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 24Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
Be focused on the speaker
Restate and clarify, do not solve the problem
Ask questions to encourage elaboration
Seek to understand the feelings and motivation behind the
feelings
Use body language to convey awareness and empathy
There is NO NEED TO RUSH, take your time
Pause, really pause, and reflect, really reflect
BE SINCERE
Listen with Intent

25. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 25Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
It takes longer to resolve a conflict when the truth or reality
is NOT on the table
Are you avoiding the truth?
Why don’t you say what you are really thinking?
What are you really avoiding?
When you ask a probing question – resist the urge to defend
yourself and your strongly held opinion
Avoid laying blame
Row Row Row Your Boat…

26. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 26Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
To confront conflict implies that we are searching for the truth – for
reality, and often the reality is that YOU are not comfortable or
prepared for addressing that reality
You must ask yourself “how have I helped to create the situation?”
Does your values affect your behavior?
Consider this as an opening question;
“What is the most important thing that we should be talking about?”
Fierce conversations cannot depend on how others respond
Search For Your Truth

27. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 27Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

28. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 28Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation
We invite you to get a closer look at what IIL can do for you
and your organization, by visiting www.iil.com or email
learning@iil.com and let us know how we can meet your
learning needs.
Please connect with IIL Socially:
Like us on: facebook.com/IIL.inc
Follow us: twitter.com/IILGLOBAL
Join our Discussions on LinkedIn
At IIL, Our Greatest Accomplishments are Yours

29. ©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved. 29Intelligence, Integrity and Innovation©2014 International Institute for Learning, Inc., All rights reserved.
The Scorpion & the Frog
Sink Or Swim – Stakeholder Management To Keep You Afloat
Glenn R. Brûlé, CBAP, CSM | Managing Director
International Institute for Learning | Australia & New Zealand
glenn.brule@iil.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/toglennsnetwork
@grbrule
Thank YOU!