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Chris Heilmann (@codepo8) - SmashingConf, Oxford, England, March 2015
WELCOME TO PLANET
FINTLEWOODLEWIX
@codepo8
Chris Heilmann
HHGTTG
THE WEB IS THE
CLOSEST THING
TO THE GUIDE I
KNOW…
AND THE PEOPLE
OF THE WEB
WERE PEOPLE I
FELT GREAT
AMONGST.
FINTLEWOODLEWIX?
PRAGMATIC
ENGINEERING OF
THE MODERN WEB
WITH
FRAMEWORKS
AND FULL STACK
DEVOPS TOOLS.
NOT MY CROWD…
I FEEL LIKE I DON’T
UNDERSTAND
THINGS ANY MORE.
https://medium.com/@codepo8/i-feel-like-a-fraud-and-thats-a-good-thing-cc1fa338b902
FEELING
INCOMPETENT IS
NOT FUN.
OVER
COMPENSATION
AGGRESSION
INTERNALISATION 
LETHARGY
ALAS, THAT WENT
OUT OF THE
WINDOW PRETTY
QUICKLY…
ALAS, THAT WENT
OUT OF THE
WINDOW PRETTY
QUICKLY…
ALAS, THAT WENT
OUT OF THE
WINDOW PRETTY
QUICKLY…
ALAS, THAT WENT
OUT OF THE
WINDOW PRETTY
QUICKLY…
ALAS, THAT WENT
OUT OF THE
WINDOW PRETTY
QUICKLY…
THE WEB AS WE
KNOW IT IS IN
DANGER…
•Native apps on monolithic,
closed systems
•Browser dependencies
•Government control and
lockout
•Corporate lockout
•Walled content gardens
I FEEL WE’VE
LOST OUR
COMMUNICATION
SKILLS.
TECHNO BABBLE
AND GEEK SPEAK
BUILDING FOR A
WORLD THAT
MOSTLY EXISTS IN
OUR TECH-PRESS
HEADLINES.
FAKE CURRENCIES OF
FINTLEWOODLEWIX
WE HAVE THAT,
TOO!
…nothing but advertising. And
we don’t even do it for money.
We do it for likes. We do it for
GitHub stars and we do it for
hacker news and reddit
upvotes. That’s dumb.
“
WE KEEP GOING
TO OUR OWN,
HAPPY PLACE.
REMEMBER ALL
THE THINGS THAT
NEVER GOT AS
IMPORTANT AS WE
MADE THEM OUT
TO BE?
•Live reload
•The realtime web
•Web Sockets
•Meteor
•Comet
•Microformats
IF YOUR WEB
PRODUCT ISN’T
RETINA READY,
YOU WILL NOT
HAVE ANY USERS
SOON!
“
EVERYBODY
ALREADY HAS A…
•iPhone
•iPad
•iWatch
•iScream
NOT
EVERYTHING
IS SHINY AND
NEW.
IT IS DAMN
REWARDING
TO GET
PEOPLE
CONNECTED!
WE NEED TO
STOP GORGING
ON TECHNOLOGY
AND INNOVATION
AND BUILD FOR
PEOPLE WHO
ARE NOT US.
“MODERN WEB DESIGN”
http://gochat.us/
MAYBE I AM JUST
A TAINTED,
GRUMPY, AND
OLD CODER
BACKWARDS
COMPATIBILITY
SHOULDN’T BE A
NUISANCE…
FRAMEWORKS
RESULT IN
PERFORMING
SOLUTIONS!
http://www.webpagetest.org/video/view.php?id=150314_Q2_DEY.1.0Tested From: Virginia USA - EC2 - Firefox - Cable
WELL, PROBABLY
ON MOBILE,
RIGHT?
http://www.webpagetest.org/video/view.php?id=150314_7R_DTG.1.0Tested From: Dulles, VA - Nexus 5 - Chrome
EXCELLENCE THROUGH REPETITION?
When I feel like a fraud, I just
needle myself on to do better.
“
OUR JOBS ARE
NEVER BORING
AND THERE IS SO
MUCH TO DO!
AND…
THERE IS MORE TO
OUR JOBS THAN
MOBILE DEVICE USE
CASES.
A LOT OF WHAT WE
HAVE TO USE HURTS
ME AS A WEB
DEVELOPER…
LET’S PLAY
“FIND THE
NECESSARY
ACTION”
OR “WHAT THE
HELL IS GOING ON
HERE?”
A LOT HAS TO DO WITH
OUTDATED SYSTEMS NOT
GETTING UPGRADED.
BY FAR THE #1 REASON
I GOT FROM WEB
DEVELOPERS NOT
EMBRACING HTML5:
WE NEED TO SUPPORT
INTERNET EXPLORER!
THIS EVEN BECAME A
RUNNING GAG…
AND I GOT SO TIRED
OF IT, I DID SOMETHING
ABOUT IT.
ENTERPRISE
INTERNET
HERE IS WHERE I
NEED YOU!
LET’S MAKE THE
WEB HOOPY FOR
EVERYBODY
AGAIN!
REQUEST
FEATURES!
https://wpdev.uservoice.com/forums/257854-internet-explorer-platform
CHECK BACK
FREQUENTLY
AND BET ON
INTEROP!
https://status.modern.ie/
UNBLOCK THE PIPES,
PLEASE!
WEBSITE OBESITY IS
NOT UNCOMMON…
SPEED UP YOUR
PRODUCTS!
http://www.webpagetest.org/
Feeling like a fraud keeps you
humble, it keeps you sane, it
keeps you on your toes.
“
Use that annoyance and own
it. Make yourself better by
doing what makes you happy.
“
LET’S GO AND
BUILD GREAT
PRODUCTS FOR
EVERYBODY
Chris Heilmann
christianheilmann.com
@codepo8
Thank you!

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