Article in The Times of Israel by Andy Blumenthal: It used to be that young Jewish men and women went on dates and generally treated each other respectfully and civilly as they explored whether there was a spark between them and potentially a match to be made. But somewhere along the lines, too many Prince Charmings have turned into real ugly toads.

1. 11/26/22, 6:32 PM Chutzpah Dating | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/chutzpah-dating/ 1/4
THE BLOGS
Andy Blumenthal
Leadership With Heart
Chutzpah Dating
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2. 11/26/22, 6:32 PM Chutzpah Dating | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/chutzpah-dating/ 2/4
Credit Photo: Andy Blumenthal
It used to be that young Jewish men and women went on dates and generally
treated each other respectfully and civilly as they explored whether there was a
spark between them and potentially a match to be made. But somewhere along
the lines, too many Prince Charmings have turned into real ugly toads.
Here is one such story that really made me gasp.
An orthodox man is divorced and has a number of kids. He is introduced to a
young lady from out of town. They speak by phone a number of times. In the
course of the early conversations, the man tells the woman that there are some
nasty accusations that his ex-wife made against him, but he reassures her that
he is a frum guy and that the accusations are nothing but completely false. After
a number of phone calls, the guy offers to go out and meet the girl, and they
plan a nice but simple date for them to continue to try and get to know each
other better.

3. 11/26/22, 6:32 PM Chutzpah Dating | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/chutzpah-dating/ 3/4
Upon arrival, just before the date, he announces to the girl that things were
actually much worse with his ex than he originally disclosed. With details
omitted for the privacy of the couple, let’s just say that it was impossible for the
date to proceed.
After some back and forth, the man apologized for his behavior, and they parted
ways. It seemed like he had sufficient conscience to know that he had treated
her badly by not being honest.
However, just a couple of days later, the girl receives a demand from him for an
exorbitant amount of money to compensate him for the cancelled date that she
never even initiated! The girl responded in shock, saying that she never agreed
to pay him anything and that if only he had been honest from the beginning,
then all this could have been avoided.
In response, he aggressively tells her that he doesn’t forgive her, but she can
keep the money, and then threateningly says that G-d will judge her! In short,
he curses the girl for not paying him for the date that he himself torpedoed. Of
course, this is just one of countless horror dating stories out there.
To be fair, the same thing can happen when women are not honest or courteous
with the men that they are dating.
And, while I’m not a dating expert, stories like this of ostensibly religious
people behaving very ungodly seem to indicate that something may be seriously
wrong with elements of the Jewish education, parenting, or value system these
days. The best that I can say is that even a toad has better manners than this.

4. 11/26/22, 6:32 PM Chutzpah Dating | Andy Blumenthal | The Blogs
https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/chutzpah-dating/ 4/4
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Andy Blumenthal is a dynamic, award-winning leader who writes frequently about Jewish life,
culture, and security. All opinions are his own.
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